Game:Zork/happyending

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 ????? Score: ∞ Moves: YOU FREAKIN WIN


> Go through

You go through the portal. You turn into a Grue! Oh happy of days! Unfortunately, you stumbled into a lightbulb party being hosted by the Black Mage guild. The only thing on the refreshment bar is apostrophes, every weapon that doesn't exist but should is there, everyone is using abominably bad grammmar, gay russian vampire porn is on the tables, and some of the guests are Chuck Norris, Jenn Kaufer, Firefox and Thunderbird, and Jack Bauer. Just arriving are Lawyers riding Bohemian Elephants. YOU EXPLODE INTO 58 BUGILLION PIECES AND EVERYONE KICKS YOUR ASS. But at least you were a grue!'

*** YOU HAVE WON ***

but...



SUDDENLY! You are on a cloud in deep space, and there is a man standing in front of you.


> examine man

He appears to be Anubis, the God of Death.

What would you like to do?


You have a final score of 11 out of a possible 69105. This gets you the rank of Assistant Undersecretary of the Undersecretary of the Assistant Intern of the Presidential Advisor of the Secretary of the Uncyclopedia Adventurers' Guild.

To reach the next rank, you need 498 more points, 3000 dollars or the Undersecretary's virginity, whichever comes first.