Game:Zork/happyending

Zork

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?????	Score: ∞	Moves: YOU FREAKIN WIN
> Go through You go through the portal. You turn into a Grue! Oh happy of days! Unfortunately, you stumbled into a lightbulb party being hosted by the Black Mage guild. The only thing on the refreshment bar is apostrophes, every weapon that doesn't exist but should is there, everyone is using abominably bad grammmar, gay russian vampire porn is on the tables, and some of the guests are Chuck Norris, Jenn Kaufer, Firefox and Thunderbird, and Jack Bauer. Just arriving are Lawyers riding Bohemian Elephants. YOU EXPLODE INTO 58 BUGILLION PIECES AND EVERYONE KICKS YOUR ASS. But at least you were a grue!' *** YOU HAVE WON *** but... It appears that the last blow was too much for you. I'm afraid that you are dead. As you take your last breath, you feel relieved of your burdens. The feeling passes as you find yourself before the gates of Hell, where the spirits jeer at you and deny you entry. Your senses are disturbed. The objects in the dungeon appear indistinct, bleached of color, even unreal. > examine me You appear to be made of a translucent floating white substance. There seems to be a golden halo hovering above your head. enter gates of Hell fly up restore You have a final score of 11 out of a possible 69105. This gets you the rank of Assistant Undersecretary of the Undersecretary of the Assistant Intern of the Presidential Advisor of the Secretary of the Uncyclopedia Adventurers' Guild. To reach the next rank, you need 498 more points, 3000 dollars or the Undersecretary's virginity, whichever comes first.