Escape the Fate
| Escape the Fate | |
|---|---|
 See You He's Better Then You
| |
| Background information | |
| Origin | Las Vegas |
| Genre(s) | Rock |
| Years active | 8 |
| Label(s) | Extra Puffed records (Also Known as "Epitaph Records"), And Interscope Records (or Interscoop) |
| Associated acts | Your mom's birthday party |
| Members | |
| Craig Pimp Hand Mabbitt, Max The Ripper Green, Monte(Bryan?) Sexy Pants Money, Robert Thinks he's Slash Ortiz | |
| Former members | |
| Ronnie JO BRO Radke, Conrad Douche Bag Allen, Omar Too Old Now Espan-something | |
Escape the fate is a girly armed bunch of homosexuals who jump on their guitars and scream into the microphone to produce a unique genre of music called screamo. unlike many other screamo bands, escape the fate does not use autotune to mix the recording but a "testicle clamp" the testicle clam has caused much controversy especially since they use it during live performances.
Where is all Started[edit]
So once there were these two guys, Max Maxwell Scott Green and Ronnie Ronald Joseph Radke, they were best buds, and kind of stoners. One day while trying to Start a band, little did they realize, they both sucked ass at playing. They were great stand alone, but together...I'd rather rip my own ears off. But back to the story, so they want to have this awesome band and as it turns out their music is something that the future needs and helps make it awesome, so they are liek gods int he future...weird o.O! But they were still in highschool and were failing histroy, their entire grade was on one project! So to save the future band and awesomeness of the future, David Hasselhoff traveled back in time with Chuck Norris in a phone booth, which was really cramped. Especially since Chuck Norris kept trying to Round house kick David Hasselhoff, then Jeff Goldblum broke up the fight!!
They found Bill and Te-er I mean Ronnie and Max and they gave them the time travel thingy, so they could go and get info about all of the cool history dudes! which they do, and they gather them just intime to give there lesson, which they made a cool rock show. Then for no reason Ronnie looked and Max and said "Dude, where Bryan been all this time?" Turns out he was fighting ninjas to be back in Las Vegas, but thats another story. Then they decided to get some friends and make a band, they called it Escape the Fate!
Fights FOR EVERYTHING[edit]
So they get famous with songs like Situations, Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliche, and No Sympathy for the Dead. They had a few songs and albums before the CD Dying is your latest fashion, but no one gave a shit! Then after a bunch of success the Max guy started trash talking people, now he's the size of your little sister/brother/tranny so him fighting is like watching your dog tear up a rag doll. HE GET BEAT DOWN DOWN DOWN!
Wow I swear there is in an echo here here here here HURRY YEAH! WHAT? O.K.! LIL' JON WHERE'D YOU COME FROM! Son of a bitch you drank my crunk juice I'll kill you (editor will be back soon till then think of dancing fat men in bikinis) I'M BACK! (Lil Jon Is NO MORE MUAHAHAHAHAHA) er i mean yes, so this kid wants start fights, and the lead singer Ronnie, he is pretty tough for a really tall emo looking skinny guy! So when Max starts trash talking a fight broken out bang boom special effects and some guy winds up DEAD! Then Ronnie gets put on probation, this is where it gets fucked in the head yo!
So more fights: After this fight, and Ronnie on probation, he can't leave the Nevada, let alone the USA so they can't tour, sucks to be them. So Max the little kid looking guy decided he wants to make CD's and tour like a cool kids, so them kick Ronnie out of the band, and Punch Omar Espan-whatever in the face so he'll leave too, now they have Max, Robert And Monte(Bryan?). Max then realize Fuck dude we have no lead singer, we can't so fuck all without one. So a great idea dawned on him...REPLACEMENT!!! So that's what they did, so Max went to th elab to create a new lead singer, after several tries the best he could come up with was Chris Crocker... So he scrapped the idea and then decided to just call his buddy Craig Mabbit, who took over for Ronnie... That start fans fighting back. The fans seem to love Craig now (damn money grubbing whores we are) they were saying how they hated Craig and were going to take him away and rape him, then leave him in a field of corn, then let children of the corn get him. But then they realized it would be easier to just listen to good music such as Falling in Reverse.
DRUGS![edit]
"You know whats Like a drug? Peanut butter, you know whats more like a drug? Drugs" So Ronnie is getting mightly friendly with the girl Named Tasha (Hey thats me er I mean SHUT UP) And he and her start getting hot a heavy...know what I mean? They are playing STRIP Uno....sexy right? So as they play STRIP Uno and weird beam of yellowy green light beams up a naked, sexy, but naked Ronnie, he was taken aboard a star ship and Max screamed at teh star ship that if Ronnie wasn't taking him along he was out of the band...Ronnie never replied to Max replaced him. While Tasha and Max stared in the direction the ship went Max realized she was naked and tried to pick her up with, You know what looks good on you? ME! She just walked away and hasn't spoken to him since....damn kids! But then she caved, in and called but he wa dating some chick that had a nicer nose then her...BASTARD. but either way. He now drinks like a fish and does drugs till he pukes...then after awhile, Craig (since he has a kids and never did the same drugs Max did) sent him to rehab, and what not...Never kicking him out of the band...weird o.O! So Now Max is clean but his hands shake like h a vibrator... Lucky ladies for him, and the man can barely sit still for more then 5 minutes at a time cause his nerves are shot. Now thats Ronnies out of Jail his nervse are just as bad and he vibrates too, FUCK MY LIFE....ALL GIRL WITH THEM MURT LOVE IT!
After the Break up[edit]
Ronnie is out of Jail December 18th 2010, but little did he know that that's what thealiens wanted us all to think, he was acutally taken aboard the Ship as a sex slave, he had to preform on aliens DAILY! Since they don't have penises he had to use his every single day....most of the day everyday.....o.O sweet! And Omar, well we never really saw much of Omar after Max punched him int he face, he joined the fight in Alaska against the eels and hasn't been heards from since, and Max (though he never loses sleep over replacing Ronnie with a guy named Craig Mabbitt) He snorts coke and pops pills everyday just to look in the mirror, mind you he is also snorting and popping with some of hollywoods sexiest, hell he was popping E with brittany Spears yesterday! So he lives a decent life I'd say! Mind you after the break up with Ronnie, the bands success has been better then they were with Omar or Ronnie, so maybe its better this way. Max now is a pimp with Craig pimp hand Mabbitt! So now Mr.Green, Mr.Money, Mr.Rabbit-Mean Mabbit, and Mr.Ortiz are kicking ass and taken names, in the order (All there last names sound like a bad movie plot)
Ronnie's Revenge![edit]
Ronnie got revenge from your mom, when he slept with ehr all night! Then he decided to kick the aliens that took him and screw them too, thats how he got back to earth. Then after thinking long and hard about it all, we realized that we were also on drugs while Ronnie was kidnapped by aliens.....and he wasn't back yet!