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Enphlozyme's advanced research and laboratorial phacilities

Hello, we here at Enphlozyme Pharmaceuticals want to feel that we are a true part of your community. We offer free delivery, reduced prices for less fortunate and impoverished families, and free pamphlets in your local pharmacy in order to help you choose the right medicine for everyone in your family.

We design drugs for specific users, so that everyone gets just the right kind of treatment. We also perform extensive testing of our many products, so as to be sure that they are completely harmless while still delivering the most effective power.

We know that you will enjoy our many products and our incredible service, so come on and see how much better everything is with Enphlozyme Pharmaceuticals. Designed by some of the most experienced doctors in the world, our products are guaranteed to put the oomph back into you with some of the highest recorded speeds for medicine effects ever. The Enphlozyme golden promise is that if you aren't satisfied by our products, you can probably have some to most of your money back.

Our products[edit]

Fluorox is a safe and plentiful source of chlorine for those who are unable to consume large amounts of sodium due to heart conditions. The chlorine is easily absorbed into the bloodstream, while the the other elements in the molecule remain in a larger group so that they easily pass out of the bloodstream.
Zylantax is Enphlozyme's form of a cure all stomach pill. Using microscopic antacids, it settles the stomach from a violent churning to a placid hum, the way all stomachs should be. It coats the stomach lining with a thin film of Zycrobis, our patented solvent, which prevents acid reflux from coming back up into the esophagus. Using tiny antibacterial cells, it fuses any wet stool, formerly known as diarrhea,into one firm sample, as well as changing the DNA in your intestines, to keep your stool constantly firm. Zylantax also uses bionic technology to relieve the intestinal walls, and thereby curing constipation and cramps. Zylantax also freezes the digesting food into one solid, rendering it nearly impossible for vomiting to occur within the body. Zylantax has few known side effects, some of which cause nausea, indigestion, and in rare cases, it may act as a laxative within the first three hours of taking it.
Contoral is a simple remedy for baldness. Once it's applied to the scalp, it effectively stimulates the dormant hair follicles using enzymes, and causes new hair growth to appear in less than 30 seconds. The enzymes also trigger a reaction which keeps the follicle cells active, thus reducing the need for further treatments.
Nasalex is an over-the-counter cold medicine that helps to alleviate the side effects of colds, such as runny nose, headaches, grogginess, and nasal discomfort. It is completely alcohol free, so it is safe for children above the age of 4, as well as not having the side effects of alcohol based cold medicines. Ingredients include:
  • Doxylamine Succinate
  • Dextromethophoran Hydrobromide
  • Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride
  • Antimonium Tartaricum
  • Polyethelene Glycol