Drummer/The Drums Offender Checklist
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Name of Offender (Drums Player) | ___________________________ |
---|---|
Infraction Date | ___________________________ |
Musical Offenses | |
Playing during warm up | $10 |
Warming Up | $25 |
Tuning (Right...a drumkit needs to be tuned) | $47 |
Speeding up during a song | $10 |
Slowing down during a song | $20 |
Making an audible mistake in the middle of a song | $40 |
Using musical scores | $25 |
Writing musical scores | $50 |
Attempting drum solo | $500 |
Achieving drum solo | $1000 |
Playing more audible than guitars | Get beaten by guitar players |
Playing less audible than bass | Get beaten by the whole band twice |
Begin a song with drums | $50 |
Setting a wrong tempo | $60 |
Setting a tempo at all | $100 |
Stopping the song after mistake and shouting loudly AAAAAA! | $200 |
Play anything other than metal | Immediate Dismissal |
Improvising | $100 |
Playing during brake | $200 |
Play "Drum scales" | $100 |
Doing that annoying "solo" stuff after the last song ends during a gig | $250 |
Sing | $2000 |
Equipment Violation | |
Not having two bass drums | $250 |
Having more than one snare | $100 |
Using an electronic drumkit | $400 |
Placing "logos" on drumkit | $150 |
Not having a Pearl or a Tama | Immediate dismissal |
Arranging the drumkit in odd ways | $250 |
Using earplugs | $50 |
Breaking drumheads | $30 per broken drumhead |
Using trick pedal | $50 |
Having more cymbals than he can handle | $100 per extra cymbal |
Asking for help to move drumkit | $400 |
Buy a "chineese cymbal" | $100 |
Breaking drumsticks | $20 per drumstick |
Use any flat surface to "play" | $500 |
Criminal Bad Taste | |
Headbanging while playing | $35 |
Drinking water during practice | $25 |
Standing up while playing | $45 |
Playing with only one drumstick | $50 |
Unintentionally throwing drumsticks at bandmates | $300 |
Intentionally throwing drumsticks at bandmates | $750 |
Trying to play another instrument | $1500 |
Practicing | $500 |
Sweating | $20 |
Starting a sentence with "Well I play nine instruments at once..." | $2000 |
Basic Stupidity | |
Lose drumsticks | $50 per drumstick |
Torch himself on fire during live performances | $150 |
Frequently screaming "Oh Yeah!" | $65 |
Asking "Where are the drugs?" | $75 plus a rehab session |
Put socks inside bass drums | $40 |
Hitting himself with a drumstick | $500 |
Tendency to believe he is Lars Ulrich | $250 |
Forgetting the song | $1000 |
Mentioning he learned to play in the school's orchestra | $150 |
Enjoys playing rock band | $250 |
Trying to speak in "Staccato" | $450 |
Calling himself a musician | Priceless |