Chavspk
Chavspk (or chavspeak, chav-speak, chav talk) is the language of the chavs which has developed due to four generations of inbreeding combined with exposure to cider, hardcore urban rap music, and those 'headache' pills you chucked down your throat at that rave. It is normally spoken around the areas of Middlesbrough, Dormanstown, Manchester and anywhere with shopping centers. The main aim of Chavspk is to dumb-down phrases to their shortest possible form, avoiding long words.
Below is a list of basic chav words and phrases. Feel free to edit the page to add some.
The Chavspk Language[edit]
Basic chav nouns[edit]
- Bling - Cheap, fake jewellery that turns green when it rains.
- MC - What happens when a chav is left in a room with two turntables and a mic. What every budding chavlet wants to be when he's all grown up.
- Rave - A large social gathering where chavs can listen to terrible music, take drugs and flail about like twats.
- Talent - What every chav who can shout random words down a microphone and call it rapping thinks he has.
Everyday chav phrases[edit]
"I don nufin!!
- "I have done nothing wrong."
"Aweigh then, ya startin' maaaaaaaaate?"
- "Would you like to fight?"
"Oi, givvaz ya phone 'n' ya wallet!"
- "Excuse me kind sir/madam, may I take your telephone and the contents of your wallet/purse?"
"Don't backchat me boy or I'll bust you up!"
- "Please refrain from talking back to me, or I will be forced to resort to violence"
"Yo, Ricky, bust out de knife 'n' jab up dis joker!"
- "Excuse me Ricky? Would you mind taking out your knife and stabbing this gentlemen in the chest? Then perhaps kicking him while he lays bleeding to death?"
"Innit."
- Can mean just about anything in Chavspk.
"YEH STARTIN'? YEH STARTIN'?!" I CAN FUCKIN' AV YEH FERR 'ARASSMEN' YEH LIHOO NOBJOCKEH!!
Excuse me, dear Sir/Madam but I feel that you are causing a disruption within my Crack Den Gang Study Group and I am afraid I may have to take legal action if you continue.
"U wan sum? il giv ya sum."
- Dear Sir/Madam, would you care for a fight, if so i would be more than happy to oblige.
An example of two Chavs in a chatroom[edit]
ayleishabbz<3: aw1t3 8)
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: wtf ya lil bch
ayleishabbz<3: omg nae need 2 lyk tak a raj
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: i wadsnt fck1n tkin a raj u w££ a$$h0l3!!!!!!!11111!! >:((((9((
ayleishabbz<3: wtf zomfg u tryn 1t on u fckn n1ggR!!!!!!11!!1 >:O
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: yeh iam tryn it 0n nd whoi u calen a n1gar ur a fkkn tramnp
ayleishabbz<3: luk jist go vbck hoem 2 yr pr0zt!to0t muthR yu lil pr1kk
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: L0K U FKIN BI4CCH U TKE IUT BKK MA M4MZ NA£ A HUKRR SH3 WADS A J1PZY $0 GIT YR FAX STR4T£ BCH!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!1111111!!!1!!!!111!!!!1!11
ayleishabbz<3: OH Y£H????//?
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: YHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!1!!
ayleishabbz<3: THN FOKIN BR!NG 1T YA COXUKKRq!
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: 1 FKKN W!L!!!!111111!1!!111111111!
***britneychelsea(aa)(8)***: I NO W3R£ U LVE RYT N IAM GUNA CUM ND MRDUR U W£N UR ZLEPIN ND THR WUNT B A F!NG U C4N DOO BOWT 1T CUZ U !S GUNA B DED OK????!!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!?!??!?!??!??!?11|??/?/?/?///!!!!1 IIIIINNNNNNNNNNIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!3"!"2!!!!!!11!1!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Both chavs were found dead at a wrecked bus stop in Hackney on Wednesday.