There is genuinely no cabal. Would you like to attempt to unearth a Cabal or search for an evil Cabal in Uncyclopedia (still pointless)?
If you just created this page, wait a few minutes and someone should knock on the door. If this page has recently been deleted, check the deletion log and you should probably also end it now before slightly more shady things occur.
Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.