Box of chocolates

Box of chocolates is a term commonly applied to closed containers which may or may not contain a potential explosive device. Although not classified as WMDs, boxes of chocolates are often sent to unwitting recipients, who may engage in one of two activities: "pigging out" (consuming the contents alone, possibly in front of a television, or in extreme cases, in the bathroom), or "sharing" (not to be confused with sitting in a circle and giving tearful personal testimonies).

In both cases, the mass of the consumer is likely to rise significantly after the ingestion of said contents, thus the literal emphasis on 'explosive'. The nature of the explosion is gradual, and tends to be less pronounced in the "sharing" cases than in the "pigging out" cases, as is expressed by the following equation:

$Indexofchocolate-relatedexplosiveness(e)=numberofchocolates(h)[dividedby]numberofconsumers(a).$

However, upon talking to anthropologic genius Forrest Gump, one may experience other results. This is based on his theory on "Never knowing what you're gonna get."

Pigging out

Obviously, in the case of "pigging out", the denominator is 1, giving e its highest possible value. The value of e is inversely proportional to the value of a. The greater the mass of the box of chocolates, the greater its potential danger to society. Note that properties "halaal" and "kosher" do not have a material impact on the potential destructiveness of the box. Boxes of chocolates that claim to be 'low-fat' or 'sugar-free' should be treated with grave suspicion and handled with care. If anything, these are potentially the most dangerous known variant of the phenomenon.

History

Who?

A "Box of Chocolate" is generally accepted as the perfect synonym for life.

A genius named Forrest Gump is usually credited with the realization. Many believe that he invented the first box of chocolate. However, in fact, he merely sneezed on the first box of chocolate and thus, gave the first person to eat this first box of chocolate food poisoning, who then consequently died. The name of the victim is lost in time.

Why?

Life is like a box of chocolates due to the abnormal displacement of the "box" in the space-time stream, as cleary seen in this formula:

$\left[-{\frac {\hbar ^{2}}{2\mu }}\nabla ^{2}-{\frac {\mathbf {e} ^{2}}{\mathbf {r} }}\right]\psi \left(\mathbf {r} \right)=E\psi \left(\mathbf {r} \right).$

As is obviously shown, the dipersement of gravitaion pressure releivers conduct an inducive environment to artificially denote the capitalization of the defibulator and relate to the ergonomic equation, as shown here:

$V={\begin{matrix}{\frac {4}{3}}\end{matrix}}\pi r^{3}$ (the $\pi$ in this formula is the quantity pi).

No!

It is essential that the formula NOT be confused with the formula for creating the most delicious cookies in this galaxy, which is as follow:

$\left[-{\frac {\mathbf {h} ^{2}}{2\mu }}\nabla ^{2}-{\frac {\mathbf {e} ^{2}}{\mathbf {r} }}\right]\psi \left(\mathbf {r} \right)=E\psi \left(\mathbf {r} \right).$

The essential difference is that the cookie recipe does not include bean dip, as shown here: (denoted $\hbar$).