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Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,353 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
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Today's Least Interesting Article
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
More of the worst of Uncyclopedia
The future
October 25: Shark Awareness Day
- 625 - Pope Boniface V is eaten by a blue shark. The Church reluctantly agrees that awareness needs to be raised but only does so for the clergy.
- 1147 - The Portuguese, under Afonso I, and crusaders from England conquer Lisbon after a four-month siege. They decide to celebrate by going for a swim. All get eaten by tiger sharks.
- 1655 - Shark arrives from the future, is promptly killed by puzzled Welshman.
- 1854 - The Charge of the White Van Men occurs, an infamous incident during the Battle of Balaclava. Free candy!
- 1936 - The Rome-Berlin Axis is created by Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and a pack of great white sharks who were also great white supremacists.
- 1946 - A secret vote is held by the British parliament to enact the Gay and Lesbian Slavery Act.
- 1977 - Quinton "Quint" Quinton of Amity Island manages to over-identify a Great White Shark.
- 1977 - A renegade child eats dozens of sharks at Miami Beach. Panicked King Triton declares state of emergency and suspends civil liberties.
- 1979 - A Greenpeace activist dies after trying to train the first vegetarian shark.
- 1988 - The Gardners of Amity Island are cloned but due to DNA contamination, they come back as sharks.
- 1993 - Vincent Price dies.
- 1994 - Vincent Price's tomb found empty and a series of bizarre murders occur. Sharks are prime suspects.
- 2006 - All travel to Australia is banned when a shark eats a young child at beach wearing a raw steak swimsuit.
- 2007 - Jim Toomey, writer of the comic strip Sherman's Lagoon, is given honorary Cambodian citizenship.
- 2008 - (Morning) I can't find my keys. Sharks are to blame.
- 2008 - (Afternoon) I discover that I forgot they were on the table. Sharks are to blame.
- 2008 - (Evening) The goddamn car doesn't start. An alliance of sharks and malicious little green men is to blame.
- 2013 - The award-winning documentary Sharknado shows the plight of many species of sharks trapped in a tornado. It galvanizes viewers into supporting legislation to limit chainsaw shark fishing to months that have an "r" in them.
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