Alternate universe

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit.

God has inspired us to demolish 37,358 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.


Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.


Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Minotaur

Minotaur02.jpg

The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

More of the worst of Uncyclopedia


The future

ERECTOR-SET.JPG

November 8: Erectional Pleasure Day

  • 1000000 BCE - On the plains of Africa, the Australopithecus encounters an eerie black monolith, and for the first time in history, stands erect. Moments later, with Also sprach Zarathustra blaring in the background, the Australopithecus realizes his hands are now free, and begins to experiment with tool use. If you know what I mean.
  • 2059 BCE - Taj Mahal, "Man's greatest erection for a woman" built in India.
  • 1173 - The leaning tower of Pisa gives the first sign of its famous erectile dysfunction problem.
  • 1889 - Eiffel Tower erected, giving pleasure to all Parisians who deny any symbolic aspect to it but giggle while saying it.
  • 1895 - Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen discovers x-ray specs.
  • 1901 - Washington Monument erected as a reminder to all American men that their penis is more important than diplomacy.
  • 1923 - Joey gets a new erector set. He receives pleasure from it. (pictured)
  • 1972 - Man gets first erection on the Moon.
  • 1973 - The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper together with a ransom note, convincing his father to pay US$2.9 million. For some strange reason it gives Getty Jr. a hard-on.
  • 1989 - Terrorist organization Hamas superglues an 8-foot fake rubber crocodile to the Wailing Wall sparking outrage.
  • 2004 - War in Iraq: More than 10,000 U.S. troops and a small number of Iraqi army units participate in a siege on the insurgent stronghold of Fallujah. Dick Cheney pops major wood.
  • 2006 - World declares national holiday as men of every race and religion appreciate their erection. Lesbians are outraged. Gays celebrate through an ancient Gay dance.
  • 2006 - Grand Canyon joins lesbians in outrage; Mount Everest gets very excited.

More predictions

In the olds



More Historical Events at UnHistory History


You shouldn't know...

For Uncyclopedia's favorite candy:

  • ... that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?


Eet Mor Chikin

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text).png UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
UnBestiary UnBestiary
Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,358 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:


If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For completely unrelated IRC chat, you may try killing yourself.

Under attack by the Unfair Use Clause, and a squad of magical girls.

Main Page