Babel:96

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Talking smilies will drown out the voices in your head!


Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.

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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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Talking smilies will drown out the voices in your head!


Cant touch this!!!!
Cant touch this</table>!!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!

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My favorite Word document[edit]


procrastination

MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95

Now with twice the features!![edit]

Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Minotaur

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The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

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Talking smilies will drown out the voices in your head!

Facts about me[edit]

  • ... that Alexander the Great would ride his horse in front of his troops before battle, so they would be so mad at having to march in horseshit they would be ready to fight anything and everything?


History Channel[edit]


Prior to the famous apple-shooting incident, William Tell actually had thirteen other children.

November 18: Constantly Hum the William Tell Overture Day, World Kool-Aid Day

  • 1307 - William Tell (pictured) shoots an apple off his son's head. What they don't tell in the history books is that before this day, Tell had thirteen other children.
  • 1626 - Due to an unfortunate typo, St. Peter's Basilica is accidentally desecrated instead of consecrated.
  • 1922 - Gangsters find that concrete shoes are just the thing to eliminate recalcitrant blackmail victims. They quickly also find that inflatable kiddie pools don't work too well with the concept.
  • 1925 - Nikola Tesla catches a severe cold. It is the only day of his life spent without inventing anything.
  • 1927 - Charles Lindbergh falls asleep shortly after taking off from New York and wakes up to find himself over Paris nearly 6 months later.
  • 1928 - Release of the animated short Steamboat Willie, directed by Walt Disney. The copyright on this film is expected to expire when the sun exhausts its hydrogen and enters a red giant phase, or perhaps somewhat afterwards.
  • 1933 - The Lone Ranger, having pretty good trick-or-treating luck the previous year, decides to keep his mask on as a permanent wardrobe feature.
  • 1938 - Tonto commits suicide when he can't get the song out of his head. Silver the Wonder Horse soon follows.
  • 1972 - Angela Griffith is the first woman to ingest five times her weight in broccoli. Tragically, she dies after the resultant flatulence blows her to bits. A statue probably will be erected in her memory, somewhere or other.
  • 1978 - Jonestown incident: In Guyana, Jim Jones leads his Peoples Temple cult in a mass murder-suicide that claims 918 lives, leading Kool-Aid to revoke their sponsorship of Jones.
  • 2001 - The Nintendo GameCube is released. It sells considerably better than the Nintendo Hypercube, which requires users to push buttons in four dimensions.
  • 2009 - Spongebob Square pants attempts to try on round pants. The resulting wedgie places him in a 2-month-long coma.

Photos from my 14th birthday

Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit]




Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)

Other cool sites[edit]

Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium (pictured) | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism


English paper

Write my english paper for me!


Proofreading

I stubbed my toe and it hurts

Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself



Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down

Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper

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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


Talking smilies will drown out the voices in your head!

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


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