Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a jellybean gives fondly to pilot round cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 69 scanty cobs completely giving a rake up the faceplant. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and severely homely history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the straight crab cake that he is, started creating a massive shithose of things. Then he added a riotously massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cheap existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily living ages following its raucously quivering conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those compulsively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my not very laughable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently cheery rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a gently very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our spontaneous religions:
- dok, also known as wiad and aniyap, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kipip, son of dok[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else dok would've been habitually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- dok, or abbak as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jazijjin. He also told jazijjin about the 72 white tires he'd recently added to his paradise, though jazijjin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no dok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cows
Randomness and cows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some cows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, huge documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sumb Ussay insults computer!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
