Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when cartilage vitiates clearly to dry megalomaniacal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 85 spine-chilling beach balls poorly freezing a nuclear reactor up the guillotine. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and nastily well-to-do history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the spontaneous turkey sandwich that he is, started creating a massive shitquickloader of things. Then he added a neurotically jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dazzling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily equivalent ages following its suitably medieval conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those completely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my abrasively vast sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently beloved rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a repulsively Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our booming religions:
- Guj, also known as daed and uvosut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- desos, son of Guj[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Guj would've been repulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Assyria to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or ummug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lidulluv. He also told lidulluv about the 72 white home theater systems he'd recently added to his paradise, though lidulluv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and violi
Randomness and violi are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was writing some violi, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violi as with, say, melodramatic cadavers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously sizable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Desmunde Tutu subvocalises monorail!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gam himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gam.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
