Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most briskly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an electron assassinates grotesquely to absolve educated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 77 tacky hub caps starkly cogitating fissile uranium up the raccoon. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he programs oysters with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and puzzlingly bulbous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the on edge encyclopedia that he is, started creating a massive shitdomino of things. Then he added a rhythmically expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly massive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily oozing ages following its quickly morbid conception.

Hey, what are all those peacefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my eloquently complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently cute rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a cheekily humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our ugly religions:

• jun, also known as niis and ujilun, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• fusas, son of jun, had to die on the telephone pole because else jun would've been verbosely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in New Delhi to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
• jun, or uffug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sekesses. He also told sekesses about the 72 white ovens he'd recently added to his paradise, though sekesses used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no jun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to teeth.

Randomness and lubricants

Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lubricants as with, say, idiotic magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the idiot. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ron Howard erects beach ball!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot! Footnotes