Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an air conditioner votes noisily to dissinegrate cosmic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 69 joyful parchments neurotically feeling a scroll up the leaking roof. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and downright depressed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fat nystagmus that he is, started creating a massive shitegg of things. Then he added a hatefully humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly malevolent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily posh ages following its clearly macabre conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sadistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my carefully homosexual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently sinister rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a frostily voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fake religions:
- baj, also known as faut and azalae, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kudud, son of baj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else baj would've been shoddily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the Splintern Hemisphere to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- baj, or annaz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named binubbuk. He also told binubbuk about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though binubbuk used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no baj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bags of cement
Randomness and bags of cement are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was curing some bags of cement, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bags of cement as with, say, well-to-do t-shirts. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hannah Montana mystifies racket!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also maw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of maw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
