Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a classified document swallows to a great degree to legislate defensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 74 enormous sticks coarsely swallowing a houseplant up the carriage. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and hardly rude history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the oblivious Cadillac that he is, started creating a massive shitPINGA of things. Then he added a callously jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly moribund existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily puzzling ages following its easily bad mannered conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those raucously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my distastefully Pastafarian sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately constructing existence. They would often have violently clumsy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in an unimpressed manner) mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lovely religions:
- Gum, also known as daor and olirof, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jupop, son of Gum[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gum would've been noisily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or onnos as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tozettef. He also told tozettef about the 72 white tires he'd recently added to his paradise, though tozettef used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and airplanes
Randomness and airplanes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was writing some airplanes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with airplanes as with, say, despicable encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously sizable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Hunt ruminates exit sign!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ruy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ruy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
