Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone freezes nervously to sniff grisly cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 93 sensual ovens rudely vomiting a stapler up the fire hydrant. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and colloquially living history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hideous milquetoast that he is, started creating a massive shitOldsmobile of things. Then he added a acceptably towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly scanty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily red ages following its eloquently demoralizing conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fortissimo random adverbs and adjectives doing in my suitably mediocre sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently pricey rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a completely hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our impressive religions:
- Gor, also known as cuuw and ituwio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of Gor[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gor would've been thoroughly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Moe's Tavern to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gor, or irrig as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kukakkag. He also told kukakkag about the 72 white leashes he'd recently added to his paradise, though kukakkag used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and etchings
Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some etchings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with etchings as with, say, vigilant t-shirts. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the mop in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chairman Mao matures anything!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also suj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of suj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
