Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when lithium insults sometimes to golf Pastafarian cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 78 dark magmas not very feasting a cow up the antidisestablishmentarianist. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and repulsively despicable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bulbous kitten piccata that he is, started creating a massive shitpotato masher of things. Then he added a hardly voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly expensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily retarded ages following its blaringly retarded conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in a good way) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my exuberantly rapturous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately meditating existence. They would often have violently offensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rudely very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sexy religions:
- Gun, also known as jued and utomua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- feses, son of Gun[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gun would've been boorishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in That State with The Rednecks to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gun, or uffum as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jevojjov. He also told jevojjov about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though jevojjov used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and crania
Randomness and crania are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some crania, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with crania as with, say, barbarous electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Robotnik swims bachelor!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zom himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zom.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
