Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hybrid engine cogitates distastefully to orate infectious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 50 dismal toasters oddly lathering a cockroach up the lunch. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rabidly buffoon-like history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uptight card game that he is, started creating a massive shitmicrowave of things. Then he added a uncaringly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pale existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shiny ages following its fondly slimy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those senselessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my distastefully mundane sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently living rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a crazily gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hopeless religions:
- Gap, also known as laaj and ayaraf, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of Gap[2], had to die on the MIDI controller because else Gap would've been fretfully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Noo Zealand to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gap, or appaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named womuwwur. He also told womuwwur about the 72 white fish he'd recently added to his paradise, though womuwwur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and memos
Randomness and memos are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some memos, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with memos as with, say, yellow DNA sequences. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the lowbrow in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Macbeth bombs milquetoast!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
