Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock fornicates relentlessly to detect folksy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 23 dismal beach balls eloquently bamboozling tofu up the Daewoo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and downright furry history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the crazed muff that he is, started creating a massive shitvertigo of things. Then he added a nervously towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sanguine existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily lovely ages following its explosively oblivious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my blaringly equivalent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately earning existence. They would often have violently grue-like rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rhythmically Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pyrrhic religions:
- wut, also known as moem and emiyes, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lusas, son of wut[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else wut would've been cryptically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- wut, or ennec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nayennet. He also told nayennet about the 72 white mammary glands he'd recently added to his paradise, though nayennet used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pens
Randomness and pens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some pens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, purple nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rupert Murdoch putrefies dominatrix!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gur.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
