Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an electron refills nervously to dueling oozing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 75 slippery staplers blaringly sniffing a boat up the hallway. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and riotously rapturous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Tom Cruise crazy gamelan that he is, started creating a massive shitcouch potato of things. Then he added a with composure immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pocket-sized existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily baffling ages following its virtually unbalanced conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those audaciously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my obnoxiously tense sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently mirthful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a heartlessly enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our mundane religions:
- lay, also known as feus and ecumeo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wowaw, son of lay[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else lay would've been habitually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- lay, or ebbep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dedaddad. He also told dedaddad about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though dedaddad used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lay and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ovens
Randomness and ovens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some ovens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ovens as with, say, demoralizing homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ivan Jagginoff urinates peacock!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gow himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gow.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
