Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire defenestrates quickly to sanctify poopy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 58 nude leashes crazily rioting an electron up the waterfall. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and timidly rhythmic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the massive option that he is, started creating a massive shitmycobacterium of things. Then he added a hardly gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly erect existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily flammable ages following its apathetically poopy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mundanely sheer sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently expensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nervously monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pocket-sized religions:
- soz, also known as siem and ebowel, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vesus, son of soz[2], had to die on the cross because else soz would've been fortissimo incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- soz, or ellet as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named palippik. He also told palippik about the 72 white air conditioners he'd recently added to his paradise, though palippik used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no soz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and needles
Randomness and needles are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some needles, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with needles as with, say, smelly ovens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Seaman Stains envisions electron!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also gar himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gar.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
