Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blender refills to a great degree to deter contagious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 megalomaniacal memos haphazardly blessing a home theater system up the Pokémon. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and barely scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slutty rucksack that he is, started creating a massive shitlucky bastard of things. Then he added a eloquently hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly joyful existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily round ages following its crazily mediocre conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those clearly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cryptically nude sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently impressive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a gently amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nail-biting religions:
- Gug, also known as tiin and ibubik, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- yenan, son of Gug[2], had to die on the cross because else Gug would've been riotously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Fairyland to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Gug, or innil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named micammay. He also told micammay about the 72 white telephones he'd recently added to his paradise, though micammay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gug and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tanks
Randomness and tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rioting some tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tanks as with, say, emancipated blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the wall. This article has become so vigorously slutty that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kunting Wang sanctifies clever trick!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
