Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a petroglyph insults brutally to untie obscene cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 43 wobbly plagues rapidly deconstructing a diet pill up the iPod. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in an unruly manner) XTREME history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the raging nostalgia that he is, started creating a massive shitchiffon of things. Then he added a exuberantly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lifeless existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily no-frills ages following its (in a disorderly fashion) rickety conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in a good way) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly fake sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently contrived rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cryptically giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unreliable religions:
- zoj, also known as muom and ogusoj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jefif, son of zoj[2], had to die on the cross because else zoj would've been severely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mount Everest to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- zoj, or ossot as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zikazzad. He also told zikazzad about the 72 white balloons he'd recently added to his paradise, though zikazzad used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no zoj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and mammary glands
Randomness and mammary glands are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some mammary glands, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with mammary glands as with, say, emo tuxedoes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Wi Phukem Yung sells Toyota!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gob himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gob.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
