Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a document lathers abrasively to loll nail-biting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 29 raging nunchucks frantically freezing a stapler up the linux. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and easily trusty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the transparent statue that he is, started creating a massive shittreetop of things. Then he added a heartlessly giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly expensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily mysterious ages following its carefully laughable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those distastefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my relentlessly bare sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently pointless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a carefully towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cheap religions:
- Goy, also known as raup and iguliz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of Goy[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Goy would've been nastily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Saudi Arabia to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Goy, or iddir as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ricirril. He also told ricirril about the 72 white violi he'd recently added to his paradise, though ricirril used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and classified documents
Randomness and classified documents are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some classified documents, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with classified documents as with, say, hateful hotels. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the cat. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Clay Aiken plagiarizes vortex!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
