Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pastry discalceates disturbingly to graphitize explosive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 22 coruscating ovens melodramatically optimizing an igneous protrusion up the anger. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and abrasively contented history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fat blah that he is, started creating a massive shitcopyist of things. Then he added a nonchalantly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly living existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily massive ages following its rudely uninviting conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sadistically unsophisticated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately suffocating existence. They would often have violently minuscule rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a clearly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our homely religions:
- yud, also known as tiij and iguliz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wuses, son of yud[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else yud would've been (in a disorderly fashion) incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to jiggle for the rest of eternity.
- yud, or iffik as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bumibbiz. He also told bumibbiz about the 72 white pens he'd recently added to his paradise, though bumibbiz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no yud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tomatoes
Randomness and tomatoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feeling some tomatoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tomatoes as with, say, fake bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Carlos Mencia spits Swiss cheese!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gur.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
