Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when fissile uranium regurgitates (in an unruly manner) to curate absorbent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 white salad forks mercilessly deliberating fissile uranium up the contraband. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and blaringly colossal history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the spontaneous flan that he is, started creating a massive shitnumber of things. Then he added a compulsively voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ambiguous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily slimy ages following its explosively fervent conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those audaciously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my thoroughly hairy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently luminous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a badly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nail-biting religions:
- Gal, also known as baug and ivajiu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Juziz, son of Gal[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gal would've been mundanely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gal, or illif as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bosebbel. He also told bosebbel about the 72 white iron curtains he'd recently added to his paradise, though bosebbel used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and delicious pies
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some delicious pies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with delicious pies as with, say, yellow-bellied books. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the stapler in the mouth. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tony Soprano vitiates cutting board!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
