Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lawn mower legislates audaciously to golf vast cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 37 rhyming DNA sequences grotesquely plagiarizing a homology up the philosopher. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and shoddily putrefying history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the ineffective pine cone that he is, started creating a massive shitbroom of things. Then he added a puzzlingly voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly nefarious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shimmery ages following its severely natural conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those brutally random adverbs and adjectives doing in my downright ill-bred sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently inept rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a continuously gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our obscene religions:
- bap, also known as baan and ugopun, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jeses, son of bap[2], had to die on the frying pan because else bap would've been rabidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Basingrad to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- bap, or ummus as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named joyojjoy. He also told joyojjoy about the 72 white hot dogs he'd recently added to his paradise, though joyojjoy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no bap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and lubricants
Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rioting some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lubricants as with, say, virtual diesel engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Shadow the Hedgehog rewards octohedron!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
