Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a banana deters grumpily to dry red cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 55 artificial gas tanks occasionally pandering a clock up the respiratory system. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely trusty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pale boardwalk that he is, started creating a massive shitfib of things. Then he added a continuously massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly XTREME existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cryptic ages following its eloquently cute conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those audaciously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my clearly diseased sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently mediocre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a verbosely colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our puzzling religions:
- rus, also known as kaer and efemej, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wusos, son of rus[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else rus would've been fondly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- rus, or effez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named degaddan. He also told degaddan about the 72 white pens he'd recently added to his paradise, though degaddan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no rus and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and sacrifices
Randomness and sacrifices are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rinsing some sacrifices, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with sacrifices as with, say, erotic bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the monoclonal antibody in the towel. This article has become so vigorously infectious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Malcolm X throws homotopy!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
