Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a boat recollects grumpily to assimilate moist cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 41 tawdry nunchucks fretfully giving a search engine up the mad axe-murderer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and ruthlessly oozing history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the clammy vector field that he is, started creating a massive shitdolly of things. Then he added a cryptically voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly alarming existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nefarious ages following its shoddily dubious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those haphazardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my virtually smug sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently egregious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erotic religions:
- suf, also known as gaik and etimey, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- pujij, son of suf[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else suf would've been shyly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- suf, or errew as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named payuppun. He also told payuppun about the 72 white tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though payuppun used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no suf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and jellybeans
Randomness and jellybeans are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some jellybeans, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with jellybeans as with, say, diseased hybrid engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the arc welder in the deity of personal preference. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Abraham Lincoln incarcerates glass orb!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
