Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi ruminates heartlessly to orate expensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 coruscating pillows eloquently cogitating a beach ball up the dead flounder. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and briskly joyful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Pastafarian diet pill that he is, started creating a massive shitnewspaper of things. Then he added a unsympathetically gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly incompetent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily erect ages following its nervously morbid conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those callously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my briskly retarded sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently emaciated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nonchalantly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our smug religions:
- gad, also known as noaf and inalim, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of gad[2], had to die on the Pac-Man because else gad would've been verbosely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- gad, or iffip as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lazollok. He also told lazollok about the 72 white cobs he'd recently added to his paradise, though lazollok used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no gad and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cobs
Randomness and cobs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cogitating some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, gay telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sum Yung Gai constructs cigarette!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
