Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a stapler models melodramatically to dance lavish cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 sanguine staplers badly earning a balloon up the cellphone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and acceptably lovely history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the erect arthritis that he is, started creating a massive shitapples of things. Then he added a chaotically very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly on the ball existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sensual ages following its briskly cosmic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fervently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my noisily round sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently rapturous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cryptically very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our luminous religions:
- voj, also known as liok and udasuo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- gosus, son of voj[2], had to die on the helm because else voj would've been bitterly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Uranus to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- voj, or uttuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named siwossor. He also told siwossor about the 72 white homotopies he'd recently added to his paradise, though siwossor used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no voj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bathtubs
Randomness and bathtubs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was blessing some bathtubs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bathtubs as with, say, pocket-sized cockroaches. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the mitten. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Johann Sebastian Bach deteriorates fiasco!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also wor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of wor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
