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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 37,405 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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Selected anniversaries

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February 24: I Don't Care What Day It Is.

  • 14 billion years ago - The universe is created. Nobody existed.
  • Many millions of years ago - All the dinosaurs died. No other species shed a tear.
  • 10000 BCE - The first humans in the world live in peace. Nobody cares.
  • 9999 BC - They start fighting. Still, nobody cares.
  • 831 BCE - The Greek school of Nihilism is founded. Its members really don't care one way or the other.
  • 977 - *Sigh*.
  • 1901 - Someone traveled back in time from 2007, but nobody cares, then or now.
  • 1983 - The Care Bears appear in their first TV special. They quickly disappear from the public consciousness and nobody cares except for Saddam Hussein.
  • 1988 - <insert name here> is born. Nobody cares. Besides, Uncyclopedia gets the date wrong.
  • 2000 - A new millennium begins. Nobody gives a monkey's ass, largely because the new millennium actually starts in 2001.
  • 2009 - Meeeeh.
  • 2009 - Christopher Meloni is snubbed from the Oscar nominees list for his role as the Grand Wizard in Harold and Kumar 2.
  • 2014 - Studies find the only people who care are Goths and Furries. They are rounded up and sent to re-education camps.
  • 2017 - Wario is an etching, and is so smelly that he cryptically overthrows under the great cellphone of Wario!
  • Never - Everybody yells "Furthermore!"

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Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.