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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 37,404 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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Selected anniversaries

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June 6: Cat Polishing Day

  • 6666 BCE - Happy Birthday, Satan!
  • 6665 BCE - Happy Birthday, Santa!
  • 6 CE - Computer geeks begin to worry about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the end times and the birth of Anti-Jesus.
  • 1670 - The fourth dimension is discovered in Detroit.
  • 1671 - The scientist who discovered the fourth dimension dies inside it.
  • 1689 - The Bastille is stormed but the mob are told they're 100 years and a month too early.
  • 1690 - The person who wrote the above entry rebuilds it.
  • 1900 - Centennial celebration of dinner time.
  • 1946 - George W. Bush hits the US (with a big fucking stick).
  • 1966 - Overpolishing of cats results in the creation of the Sphynx breed.
  • 1987 - The physical embodiment of the god of whores is born in a small general hospital in London to a family with too many cats.
  • 1998 - Satan builds the Flux capacitor, but nobody seems to care.
  • 1999 - The Millennium Dome sneaks off to the Bell and Dragon in Bath for a pint.
  • 2001 - John The Baptist meets Jesus in the local Blue Peter Bring & Buy sale. He opts to buy the cross Jesus is carrying, but turns it down in favour of a My Little Pony annual.
  • 2006 - The day of Satan, and my ex-wife's birthday! Coincidence?
  • 2008 - Satan decides to put off Armageddon to celebrate his birthday with his cats.

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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

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Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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