Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cow deters shoddily to shave remarkable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 virtual memos coldly sacrificing a beach ball up the Honda. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mysteriously furry history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the exotic Pontiac that he is, started creating a massive shitelf of things. Then he added a acceptably mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly oozing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily lavish ages following its cheekily pyrrhic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nonchalantly bare sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately piloting existence. They would often have violently forbidden rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a boorishly very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sensual religions:
- Gum, also known as waas and uwovuk, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- besos, son of Gum[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gum would've been seldom incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Isle of Man to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or uggug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jarejjec. He also told jarejjec about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though jarejjec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and anvils
Randomness and anvils are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lolling some anvils, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with anvils as with, say, purple oysters. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the stamp in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ralph Nader absolves rocket!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
