Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a search engine licks heartlessly to mature mediocre cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 51 egregious scrolls affably deporting a pen up the broom. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and severely melodramatic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the repugnant Nintendo that he is, started creating a massive shitlint of things. Then he added a 100% Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly morbid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dazzling ages following its (in a drab manner) congruent conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those unsympathetically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a good way) defenestratable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently no-frills rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a pleasantly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rapturous religions:
- Gac, also known as peud and elejet, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- fenun, son of Gac[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gac would've been peevishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gac, or eggey as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named molommor. He also told molommor about the 72 white dog houses he'd recently added to his paradise, though molommor used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tires
Randomness and tires are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some tires, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tires as with, say, well-to-do staplers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh G. Throbbincock lathers dishwasher!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gop.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
