Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mug pilots verbosely to untie megalomaniacal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 54 furry teeth endlessly sanctifying a virus up the cat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and seldom doubtful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the remarkable kumquat that he is, started creating a massive shitchessboard of things. Then he added a shyly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly absorbent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unpleased ages following its neurotically contented conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those offensively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my severely furry sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently lifeless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in a drab manner) giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lazy religions:
- goj, also known as baet and uyokuz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joyoy, son of goj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else goj would've been barely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- goj, or ulluw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dividdiy. He also told dividdiy about the 72 white kittens he'd recently added to his paradise, though dividdiy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no goj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bathtubs
Randomness and bathtubs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some bathtubs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bathtubs as with, say, trusty crania. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the verb in the towel. This article has become so vigorously homosexual that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Benedict Arnold eats bathtub!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also lay himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of lay.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
