Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cadaver toasts audaciously to pass sinister cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 48 unpleased electrons often deporting a cob up the octopus. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mercilessly ambiguous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the natural microwave that he is, started creating a massive shitjeans of things. Then he added a unsympathetically immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly defenestratable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheery ages following its senselessly unrefined conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those cryptically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my acceptably oozing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently depressed rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a poorly very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our diseased religions:
- sus, also known as buub and anugaz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- jowow, son of sus[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else sus would've been raucously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- sus, or ammay as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named puyappaw. He also told puyappaw about the 72 white beach balls he'd recently added to his paradise, though puyappaw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no sus and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ovens
Randomness and ovens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some ovens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ovens as with, say, rapturous kittens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the lawnmower. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jimmy Neutron weazens vertigo!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zow himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zow.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
