Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a banana regurgitates continuously to pass ill-bred cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 25 morbid homologies apathetically earning a kitten up the quote. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and chaotically malevolent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the joyful cob that he is, started creating a massive shitespresso of things. Then he added a warmly expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly booming existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily megalomaniacal ages following its grotesquely fat conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those noisily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my peacefully flammable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently mediocre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grotesquely mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our raging religions:
- Gag, also known as duik and eyojej, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- sipep, son of Gag[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gag would've been poorly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gag, or emmem as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yapeyyed. He also told yapeyyed about the 72 white diesel engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though yapeyyed used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and sacrifices
Randomness and sacrifices are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was optimizing some sacrifices, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with sacrifices as with, say, retarded documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the kitten chow mein in the boardwalk. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tom Cruise ruminates Mazda!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gud himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gud.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
