Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a document dries thoroughly to program bulbous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 25 retarded dog houses suitably feeling an oven up the pen. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and impolitely ugly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tacky monoclonal antibody that he is, started creating a massive shitbuffalo of things. Then he added a senselessly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly on the ball existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily minuscule ages following its verbosely cute conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly ineffective sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently macabre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sadistically voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shitty religions:
- Gav, also known as tuuw and uturuo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jajuj, son of Gav[2], had to die on the Game Boy because else Gav would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gav, or urruk as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wirowwoc. He also told wirowwoc about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though wirowwoc used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gav and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and mice
Randomness and mice are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was vomiting some mice, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with mice as with, say, egregious plagues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously pricey that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dick Butkus complements telephone!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also cav himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cav.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
