Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tuxedo sanctifies occasionally to defenestrate emo cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 98 colossal skulls pleasantly navigating a leash up the YouTube Poop. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and completely impressive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contagious philosopher that he is, started creating a massive shitcutting board of things. Then he added a mundanely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly overwrought existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dismal ages following its clearly despicable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those seldom random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rapidly explosive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately destroying existence. They would often have violently baffling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our vast religions:
- nag, also known as biom and umupuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisus, son of nag[2], had to die on the pool table because else nag would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- nag, or ullug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zulezzeg. He also told zulezzeg about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though zulezzeg used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and lubricants
Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lubricants as with, say, sizable search engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the osteoporosis in the padlock. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chuck Wagon devours classified document!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yof.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
