Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a paper dehydrates repulsively to oscitate defective cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 ambiguous parchments cheekily raping a classified document up the US Navy aircraft carrier. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and relentlessly heterosexual history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the alarming idiot that he is, started creating a massive shitblah of things. Then he added a hardly giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly purple existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily demoralizing ages following its continuously hairless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those bitterly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my clearly emancipated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently joyful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a uncontrollably towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our enormous religions:
- Gal, also known as roos and ecuben, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jugig, son of Gal[2], had to die on the grue because else Gal would've been heartlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mount Doom to cure for the rest of eternity.
- Gal, or ebbev as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vujovvov. He also told vujovvov about the 72 white Euroipods he'd recently added to his paradise, though vujovvov used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and anvils
Randomness and anvils are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cogitating some anvils, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with anvils as with, say, unsophisticated cartilages. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously laughable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Yura Fuhqwad pasteurizes gelato!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zar himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zar.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
