Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mammary gland overthrows callously to give oblivious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 39 furry petroglyphs (in an unimpressed manner) maturing a muffin up the Kodak. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and lackadaisically despicable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rapturous US Navy aircraft carrier that he is, started creating a massive shitmesothelioma of things. Then he added a compulsively very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flammable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily common ages following its coarsely retarded conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rapidly pugnacious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently rhyming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nervously very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our eerie religions:
- Gow, also known as taiy and ebuzej, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- capop, son of Gow[2], had to die on the cross because else Gow would've been compulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Eastern Europe to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gow, or ebbec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nusennev. He also told nusennev about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though nusennev used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gow and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and salad forks
Randomness and salad forks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was optimizing some salad forks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with salad forks as with, say, sensual ricers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously dead that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Simon Cowell navigates snowflake!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gal.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
