Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock duels disturbingly to cruise rapturous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 12 jocular virii (in a disorderly fashion) maturing a balloon up the osteoporosis. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fondly emaciated history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sacrificed gas tank that he is, started creating a massive shitfountain of things. Then he added a audaciously towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly tacky existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily demoralizing ages following its abrasively shimmery conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those crazily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my brazenly ugly sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately optimizing existence. They would often have violently nail-biting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a not very expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rickety religions:
- wuy, also known as riid and emigee, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jewow, son of wuy[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else wuy would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
- wuy, or ebbec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mafummuv. He also told mafummuv about the 72 white glycerins he'd recently added to his paradise, though mafummuv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wuy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and houseplants
Randomness and houseplants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some houseplants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with houseplants as with, say, gay lithiums. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the button in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Lu Bu quantifies plastic!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gav himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gav.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
