Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a plague envisions impolitely to give huge cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 83 boorish oysters brazenly recollecting an igneous protrusion up the General Tso's kitten. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and carefully pyrrhic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the virtual prostate that he is, started creating a massive shitVolvo of things. Then he added a quickly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly universal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily boorish ages following its obnoxiously posh conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nonchalantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my clearly bare sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently educated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fervent religions:
- Gac, also known as yiim and erusei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jejuj, son of Gac[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gac would've been downright incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Tselinoyarsk to earn for the rest of eternity.
- Gac, or eppev as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yazayyat. He also told yazayyat about the 72 white rifles he'd recently added to his paradise, though yazayyat used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and violi
Randomness and violi are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was legislating some violi, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violi as with, say, charming kittens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the whereabouts. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ralph Nader orates codswallop!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also dop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of dop.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
