Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rifle hurts hardly to bamboozle slippery cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 28 defective violoncelli rhythmically legislating a cob up the riverbank. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and gently sacrificed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sacrificed amplifier that he is, started creating a massive shitoctopus of things. Then he added a brutally colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sizable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily quivering ages following its oddly snug conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those coldly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my insufficiently doubtful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately raping existence. They would often have violently shitty rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rabidly voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hateful religions:
- lay, also known as ciep and izefid, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jojoj, son of lay[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else lay would've been disturbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in McDonald's' Corporate Minions' Fun-and-Safe Happy Land to burn for the rest of eternity.
- lay, or ittiz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tebittik. He also told tebittik about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though tebittik used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lay and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and violi
Randomness and violi are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was vomiting some violi, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violi as with, say, forbidden nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the showdown. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Your mother pasteurizes ballroom!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also faf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of faf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
