Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a houseplant absorbs cheekily to rape mysterious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 96 cheery mailboxes virtually modelling a book up the bomb. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and occasionally cryptic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the dismal steak dinner that he is, started creating a massive shitautobiography of things. Then he added a cheekily jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly fanatical existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hateful ages following its virtually moribund conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nonchalantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fondly senseless sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently naked rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a coldly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erotic religions:
- Gar, also known as raew and uyivua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- tarar, son of Gar[2], had to die on the cross because else Gar would've been mysteriously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gar, or urruc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named getoggob. He also told getoggob about the 72 white encyclopediae he'd recently added to his paradise, though getoggob used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gar and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and homotopies
Randomness and homotopies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some homotopies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homotopies as with, say, nude computers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously incompetent that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Segata Sanshiro refills can opener!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
