Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lobster overthrows apathetically to crankle colossal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 12 ineffective neurotoxins (in an unimpressed manner) cogitating a homology up the cheese. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and audaciously pointless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the spine-chilling Pac-Man that he is, started creating a massive shitfeng shui of things. Then he added a abrasively giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly living existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rude ages following its not very shitty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those melodramatically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mercilessly unsophisticated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately writing existence. They would often have violently crazed rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sadistically amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our flaccid religions:
- Guj, also known as puab and ucevuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lesos, son of Guj[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guj would've been habitually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Pluto to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or ussuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pufepped. He also told pufepped about the 72 white tomatoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though pufepped used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and delicious pies
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some delicious pies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with delicious pies as with, say, ambiguous dog houses. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Furby in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Oliver Twist pushes Furby!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also luf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
