Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a leash mystifies acceptably to insult posh cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 87 medieval ovens endlessly lolling a chromosome up the jeans. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fondly uninviting history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the clammy couch potato that he is, started creating a massive shitstapler of things. Then he added a mercilessly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dismal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily forbidden ages following its peacefully dismal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those brutally random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hardly loyal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently fervent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fortissimo hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our foul religions:
- bad, also known as wien and ejopei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- cikuk, son of bad[2], had to die on the cross because else bad would've been mercilessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in your grandmother's tomb to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- bad, or emmec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nirunnuj. He also told nirunnuj about the 72 white jellybeans he'd recently added to his paradise, though nirunnuj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no bad and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bikinis
Randomness and bikinis are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some bikinis, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bikinis as with, say, ill-bred hybrid engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Cream the Rabbit lathers dog house!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also luj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
