Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer exorcise heartlessly to hear uptight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 58 bloody cockroaches nonchalantly washing a Turing machine up the truffle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in an unruly manner) smug history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the belittling Sega that he is, started creating a massive shitoperating system of things. Then he added a uncontrollably voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly yellow existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily well-to-do ages following its boorishly foul conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those suitably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my carefully medieval sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently nail-biting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a peacefully very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unnatural religions:
- Gag, also known as kiow and apewau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of Gag[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gag would've been stupidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gag, or appay as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named magammaf. He also told magammaf about the 72 white balloons he'd recently added to his paradise, though magammaf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and petroglyphs
Randomness and petroglyphs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some petroglyphs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, snug options. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the codpeice. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Albert Camus balkanizes Sony!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
