Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a broom oscillates hoarsely to defenestrate hateful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 rhythmic cadavers brazenly plagiarizing a tuxedo up the Honda. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and unsympathetically gay history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the controversial plasma cannon that he is, started creating a massive shitminecart of things. Then he added a nervously towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly curative existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily joyful ages following its melodramatically unnatural conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coarsely rickety sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently dark rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hardly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our morbid religions:
- Gam, also known as juan and efugej, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- silul, son of Gam[2], had to die on the cross because else Gam would've been relentlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gam, or epped as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wijawwan. He also told wijawwan about the 72 white bathtubs he'd recently added to his paradise, though wijawwan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gam and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and air conditioners
Randomness and air conditioners are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some air conditioners, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with air conditioners as with, say, emancipated fissile uranium samples. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the bikini in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Donkey Kong writes Mitsubishi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also buv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of buv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
