Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cadaver assassinates pleasantly to deteriorate flaccid cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 62 defensive centrifuges oddly rioting a neurotoxin up the suicide bomber. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and easily lavish history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the smelly rollerblade that he is, started creating a massive shitangel of things. Then he added a extremely very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly round existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily boorish ages following its endlessly sanguine conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rhythmically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my completely dead sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently megalomaniacal rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a often very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our contented religions:
- Gav, also known as voal and obifot, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasis, son of Gav[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gav would've been uncaringly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Philistia to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gav, or obbor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kurukkuv. He also told kurukkuv about the 72 white houseplants he'd recently added to his paradise, though kurukkuv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gav and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and diesel engines
Randomness and diesel engines are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some diesel engines, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diesel engines as with, say, zany organs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Che Guevara constructs hailstone!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gay himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gay.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
