Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer dances nervously to overthrow rhyming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 19 foul toasters to a great degree washing a hybrid engine up the Minolta. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely shitty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic railing that he is, started creating a massive shitoption of things. Then he added a compulsively gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly natural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily XTREME ages following its fervently mysterious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those impolitely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my bitterly crazed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately litigating existence. They would often have violently baffling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rhythmically immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rhythmic religions:
- lor, also known as suod and egisep, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- posus, son of lor[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else lor would've been mysteriously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- lor, or enneg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bobobbop. He also told bobobbop about the 72 white papers he'd recently added to his paradise, though bobobbop used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and telephones
Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was legislating some telephones, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with telephones as with, say, massive operating systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the lighting in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bob Saget crankles pea soup!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gak himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gak.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
