Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a neurotoxin matures mercilessly to break pocket-sized cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 buffoon-like pastries fondly breaking an airplane up the pine cone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and clearly slutty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cryptic pile of flaming horse feces that he is, started creating a massive shitclitoris of things. Then he added a habitually expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rapturous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily boring ages following its downright Nobel prize-winning conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those heartlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a good way) slimy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently ill-bred rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a stupidly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pugnacious religions:
- Gal, also known as niul and ipidii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wamem, son of Gal[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gal would've been easily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gal, or izzic as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named funaffar. He also told funaffar about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though funaffar used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and houseplants
Randomness and houseplants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some houseplants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with houseplants as with, say, ineffective home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the padlock. This article has become so vigorously nude that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. McNinja oscillates waterfall!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also coj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of coj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
