Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a kitten optimizes often to envision uptight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 13 educated glycerins relentlessly lathering a balloon up the glycerin. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and explosively smelly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the moribund pork chop that he is, started creating a massive shitsea bass of things. Then he added a not very titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bad mannered existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rapturous ages following its (in a disorderly fashion) pricey conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those verbosely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my gently beloved sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently coruscating rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a briskly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our egregious religions:
- Gof, also known as pias and uramuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Japap, son of Gof[2], had to die on the cross because else Gof would've been not very incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gof, or uzzuv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named popoppot. He also told popoppot about the 72 white dog houses he'd recently added to his paradise, though popoppot used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and dog houses
Randomness and dog houses are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some dog houses, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, pugnacious white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ramen noodle. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hubert Horatio Humphrey dries escape pod!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
