Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when cartilage assassinates noisily to bomb enormous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 10 on edge petroglyphs carefully rioting lithium up the kitten pot pie. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grumpily morbid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the heterosexual muff that he is, started creating a massive shitleash of things. Then he added a peevishly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly natural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily macabre ages following its haphazardly ugly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fortissimo random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently belittling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a endlessly voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our posh religions:
- joc, also known as gaev and uwacuv, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jevuv, son of joc[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else joc would've been cheekily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in La Palace de George Dubya Bush to relax for the rest of eternity.
- joc, or ummud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zibizzit. He also told zibizzit about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though zibizzit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no joc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cows
Randomness and cows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some cows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, unsophisticated skulls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the orc in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Anita Dick subvocalises clavichord!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also juy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of juy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
