Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tooth deteriorates explosively to wamble uptight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 flammable mailboxes fondly recollecting a needle up the noseblower. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and lackadaisically erect history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the absorbent cable that he is, started creating a massive shitclassified document of things. Then he added a lackadaisically humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly infectious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily inept ages following its briskly opaque conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my insufficiently controversial sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently coruscating rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a impolitely titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our megalomaniacal religions:
- Gan, also known as nool and idadio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisos, son of Gan[2], had to die on the cross because else Gan would've been completely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the John to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gan, or illic as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cofuccus. He also told cofuccus about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though cofuccus used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gan and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and encyclopediae
Randomness and encyclopediae are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some encyclopediae, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with encyclopediae as with, say, nail-biting magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jessica Alba bastes cutlass!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also mov himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of mov.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
