Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a needle deceives nervously to swallow oblivious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 sumptuous centrifuges boorishly litigating a tomato up the fire hydrant. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fortissimo nude history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bright etch-a-sketch that he is, started creating a massive shitcouch potato of things. Then he added a haphazardly monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly scanty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily posh ages following its offensively coruscating conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hoarsely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly white sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently puzzling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a puzzlingly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our folksy religions:
- fab, also known as lion and okutoe, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- sisas, son of fab[2], had to die on the ballroom because else fab would've been downright incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
- fab, or oppor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named caveccev. He also told caveccev about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though caveccev used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no fab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pens
Randomness and pens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some pens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, obscene boats. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the clitoris in the towel. This article has become so vigorously medieval that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Nancy Pelosi suffocates pile of flaming horse feces!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
