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Welcome, to an encyclopedia article unlike any other! Whereas in most encyclopedias, you read the article from beginning to end, in this article YOU get to decide what happens! Simply click on the link at the end of each section to indicate your choice, and proceed to the next section. But be warned! The article is a dangerous place, filled with half-baked concepts and contrived scenarios. To survive, you will need to have your wits about you, as making the wrong move could spell your doom, and it will be game over. Or you could just go back a step. But that would be naughty.
- Now go to 1!
1
It is 1993. You are a precocious, introverted eleven year old boy with square glasses. Your mother has given you a tatty, second-hand copy of Warlock of the Citadel of Doom by Peter Jackson and Ken Livingstone in an effort to shut you up during a rainy Sunday afternoon. Your father is busy watching the football, and your older brother is preparing to go to his fascist rally. Your little sister is around somewhere. Despite the adventure gamebook coming from a second hand shop, you have nothing better to do. In order to begin, you will need a pencil, an eraser and two dice. Your first task is to find a pencil. (more...)
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...Look, what I'm trying to say is, I've seen shit. I've seen some nasty shit. Shit that would make you want to pry out your eyes with a crowbar. But all that stuff is nothing compared to the life I've lived. You see, I've been pushed into bananas while playing Mario Kart. After you've experienced that, "two girls one cup" seems like a Disney movie.
...Let’s say you’re a street fighter (or a boxer, or an LAPD cop, or even a senator of some backwards state). One day you are training or doing something else out of boredom when all of a sudden something comes in the mail. It's a nifty little invitation letter in an envelope of high-grade glossy paper with a spiffy-looking stamp addressed to you, meaning it has to be for real. And it is for real, my friend: You, a worthless nobody, have been summoned to a fighting tournament to fight and be given the chance to win whatever it is your heart desires, be it fame, glory, money, or swimming in a pool full of steaming hot spaghetti and tapioca, because you know it feels so right.
...The Blue Screen of Death (abbreviated BSoD), also known as The Blue Screen of Doom, the "Blue Screen of Fun", "Phatul Exception: The WRECKening" and "Mac osx" apparentley, is a multi award-winning game first developed in 1995 by Microsoft.
...Grand Theft Audio is a 2007 video game produced by a small development studio formed within the Recording Industry Association of America.
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