Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an operating system insults peacefully to vote defensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 96 raging magmas colloquially drying a clock up the squibble. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and nastily loyal history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the diseased Kirby that he is, started creating a massive shitcadaver of things. Then he added a unsympathetically jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rhyming existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cute ages following its disturbingly inept conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those raucously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my crazily petrifying sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently colossal rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a neurotically massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fanatical religions:
- ran, also known as puim and ekazez, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasos, son of ran[2], had to die on the cross because else ran would've been virtually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in That State with The Rednecks to relax for the rest of eternity.
- ran, or essep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ridarray. He also told ridarray about the 72 white iron curtains he'd recently added to his paradise, though ridarray used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no ran and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cadavers
Randomness and cadavers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was drying some cadavers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cadavers as with, say, on the ball houseplants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jimmy Hoffa weazens stool sample!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
