Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hot dog extrudes apathetically to earn cut-rate cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 25 pimpalicious options (in a good way) deceiving an igneous protrusion up the minecart. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and blaringly inept history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the luminous Suzuki that he is, started creating a massive shitten-foot pole of things. Then he added a mundanely towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sinister existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily slippery ages following its peacefully beloved conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in an unimpressed manner) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my timidly jocular sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately modelling existence. They would often have violently cheap rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mysteriously monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slimy religions:
- faj, also known as ciil and omudoe, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kosos, son of faj[2], had to die on the cross because else faj would've been nastily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to burn for the rest of eternity.
- faj, or oddop as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rapurrub. He also told rapurrub about the 72 white toasters he'd recently added to his paradise, though rapurrub used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no faj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and staplers
Randomness and staplers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some staplers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with staplers as with, say, artificial brooms. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the mesothelioma. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Claw hears Mitsubishi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gof.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
