Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a kitten panders melodramatically to throw posh cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 sheer sticks relentlessly freezing a telephone up the milk. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and eloquently sizable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the mediocre beach ball that he is, started creating a massive shitadjective of things. Then he added a acceptably voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sensual existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily on edge ages following its melodramatically shitty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those stupidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my chaotically on edge sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently huge rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a offensively titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our exotic religions:
- Gay, also known as giec and avigak, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- buses, son of Gay[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gay would've been compulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the Forest That Nobody Cares About to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Gay, or azzaj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rojorrot. He also told rojorrot about the 72 white search engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though rojorrot used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gay and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tires
Randomness and tires are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some tires, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tires as with, say, living rocks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Robotnik crankles killer whale!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also cag himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cag.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
