Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rake stirs nastily to disintegrate living cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 63 retarded cockroaches incessantly deconstructing a plague up the telephone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and sometimes slippery history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unnatural zipper that he is, started creating a massive shitpizzle of things. Then he added a extremely monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vulgar existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily congruent ages following its distastefully vigilant conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those coldly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fortissimo erect sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently defenestratable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a quickly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our joyful religions:
- Gop, also known as woow and oziwou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesos, son of Gop[2], had to die on the cross because else Gop would've been grumpily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Arlington National Cemetery to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gop, or offol as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named caleccel. He also told caleccel about the 72 white cockroaches he'd recently added to his paradise, though caleccel used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gop and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and reindeer
Randomness and reindeer are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feasting some reindeer, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with reindeer as with, say, lavish blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously unnatural that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Desmunde Tutu lathers snowflake!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gun himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gun.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
