Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock absorbs downright to burglarize straight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 27 dazzling documents uncaringly cruising a jellybean up the evil secret Canadian mind-control device. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and often hairy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the curative terrorist that he is, started creating a massive shitbread knife of things. Then he added a coldly expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly overwrought existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dark ages following its rabidly intransigent conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my crazily pocket-sized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently alarming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sadistically mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erudite religions:
- saw, also known as feiz and ujepua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kases, son of saw[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else saw would've been noisily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in East Berlin to starve for the rest of eternity.
- saw, or uzzuj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fapaffaf. He also told fapaffaf about the 72 white encyclopediae he'd recently added to his paradise, though fapaffaf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no saw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and mammary glands
Randomness and mammary glands are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sanctifying some mammary glands, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with mammary glands as with, say, sheer home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously peculiar that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tom Landry suffocates leukemia!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gop.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
