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Internet is a MMORPG played on a heavily modified text adventure engine. It is the second game in the Really Big-Ass Networks series. With over 1 billion players, Internet is the most popular MMORPG, easily beating stupid shit like Run-Escape.
Through Internet's text description-based technology, players can create any character they want. Many players use this feature to create characters that would be considered absurd by real life standards. The average Internet character has some impressive stats:
- IQ: 251
- Max bench press: 932 pounds
- Death rate: 4 characters per decade
- Penis: Blue Whale
- Favourite kids' TV programme: Pob
These stats are actually a lot lower than most players have. This is because some players instead create characters intended to represent a person that player hates, such as a mother-in-law or a politician, and give the character low stats and have the character fail miserably in very public settings. For example, there are an estimated 10,000 George W. Bush characters in Internet, each of which has no stats and no achievements, and most of which do nothing but have cybersex with Dick Cheney characters. In early 2003, this method of defamation became widely accepted as a legitimate tactic in logical debates. (more...)
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...Let’s say you’re a street fighter (or a boxer, or an LAPD cop, or even a senator of some backwards state). One day you are training or doing something else out of boredom when all of a sudden something comes in the mail. It's a nifty little invitation letter in an envelope of high-grade glossy paper with a spiffy-looking stamp addressed to you, meaning it has to be for real. And it is for real, my friend: You, a worthless nobody, have been summoned to a fighting tournament to fight and be given the chance to win whatever it is your heart desires, be it fame, glory, money, or swimming in a pool full of steaming hot spaghetti and tapioca, because you know it feels so right.
...You should get of off the games portal and write articles.
...The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. The first Drunk Olympics took place in Utah in 2005.
...Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.
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