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5:07 PM, Friday-- After a long, hectic day at the office, you shuffle along down the hall, briefcase in hand. You narrowly dodge one of your more annoying coworkers as he skids past in his rolling swivel chair, and with the sound of a collision between him and another person, hopefully his boss, you step into an elevator crowded with various men and women in suits. Among these formally-dressed drones is a young man with long, blonde hair and a multicolored t-shirt emblazoned with a peace sign. The fellow greets you with a friendly "Peace, man", but your mind is too wracked with stress to take any notice.
As the elevator gradually falls to the first floor, your nostrils are filled with the scent of paper, fresh off the copy machine, as well as the strange scent of dry-roasted nuts. "Must be John with his can of cashews again," you think to yourself. "That guy is going to end up in the hospital with some sort of rare nut-related disease". As you step out of the elevator and onto the white-tiled floor of the lobby, you think about all the work you have piled up on your desk at home, and how you would much rather curl up in your chair with a tub of coffee-flavored ice cream and watch reruns of "That 70's Show" until you pass out. As you cross the room to the glass-paned rotating door, your eye catches a glimpse of some massive brown object just outside the office. (more...)
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...Cup Stacking is a fringe pseudo-sport championed by young white children all across the Midwestern United States (where real sports have been declared the Olympics of Satan and thus outlawed).
...It is with deep regret and great sadness that I write to you in order to complain. As a respected muslim cleric, I enjoy comedy as much as any other man. The work of your site has both informed and entertained me over the years and I had looked forward to further articles of the undoubted quality of Holocaust denial denial and I maed a yuky doody. I then came across your disgusting article on Miss Sania Mirza, as of 17th June 2008. Sir, I refuse to accept such filth as material for comedy.
...Playwright, novelist, musician, poet, philanthropist, historian, short story writer - these are just a few of the professions of individuals that Oscar Wilde has corrupted with his rampant sexuality and Rabelaisian appetites.
...The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces. It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep.
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The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.
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