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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

June 9: Moose Conservation Day (North America), Scientific Blunders Awareness Day

36 CE - Jesus Christ saves a moose who becomes an apostle to spread the Word in the Americas. It only manages to get tangled up in clotheslines and trip over lawn furniture.
1491 – A cave painting is discovered which would later be the inspiration for the movie Opiate of the Molasses.
1567 – Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. Doctors are amazed at how it stayed so clean while she gave birth to it.
1920 – The first solar-powered air balloon is launched at night.
1926 – The first refrigerator is invented. It is originally marketed for killing people slowly and coldly.
1940 – The team of scientists at Los Alamos begin work on the Manhattan Project. They construct the world's first nuclear weapons after the US government's promise to only use them for peaceful nuclear bombings.
1954 - This marks exactly 100 years to the day that Charles Darwin finished penning the The Origin of Species rough draft. The lapse of 100 years' time is called into question due to missing transitional forms.
1969 – Sex is created. However, scientists do not think it will be a big hit.
1988 – The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians are baffled.
1993 – The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court.
2003 – Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches its record-breaking 500th lawsuit.
2009 – George Lucas changes history to make it look like a moose got a shot in first. Fans of Greedo are outraged.
2016 – Star Wars fans are unable to lynch George Lucas at San Diego Comic-Con as he keeps all his profits from the sale of the franchise in gold coins duct-taped to his body and is far too heavy to lift.