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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

May 10: Smoking Monkey Day (Kenya), Happy Super Good Fun Smiley Day (Japan), Step-Mothers-in-Law Day (USA)

1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the scooter.
1512 - The Male German Eruct Choir is founded by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero.
1865 - American Civil War: latest score 23-47, Confederates on 4th and 10, no time outs remaining.
1940 - Adolf Hitler sends the German Army to vacation in France and Belgium.
1972 - The Day the Earth stood still. Klaatu barada... nikwich? Uh-oh.
1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidently squashed by a hippo.
1985 - Live Aid Concerts are announced; starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated.
1994 - Eclipse of the Sun is caused by Pamela Anderson over most of Norway.
1998 - The German band Scooter returns the favor by dedicating How Much Is the Fish? to Amerigo Vespucci.
2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale are spotted in IKEA. They are seen arguing over whether storage units are worth it and will fit in the car.
2005 - Live 8 Concerts announced; Bush and Blair promise this time things will be different.
2006 - National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA is organised by TAMIR, The Association for Most Ignored Relatives. They later set up National Younger Half-Brother Day, and National Grandfather's-21-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day.
2006 - Africa is officially on a diet – it's not hunger. See, pop stars have saved the world!!
2008 - James Madison rises from the dead to reclaim his throne as the greatest person ever.
2037 - Young MC turns 70. Irony threatens Earth's existence.