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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day June 12: Elephant Flossing Day, Hug a Proctologist Day 1885 - At a murder trial in France, a roof collapses, killing 30 people, finally ending the vicious cycle of "justice" in France once and for all! 1932 - Current month begins bustin' out all over, ends up leaving a horrible mess. Incident later depicted in the musical Carousel. 1939 - In northern Africa, Adolf Hitler refuses to floss an elephant as a gesture of welcome from a local tribe, as "it could be full of gay". Tribesmen chase him out, and he takes his anger out on Poland soon after. 1987 - In Chernobyl, Russian Emperor Mikhail Gorbachev accidentally misflosses an elephant during the Chernobyl Elephant Flossing Day Annual Festival. As a result, reactor #2 at the Chernobyl nuclear flossing plant explodes, killing 42 people and injuring one elephant. 1987 - Schenectady woman Joyce Q. Spepple claims to see vision of Virgin Mary in a taco salad; it is later proven to be a secret message from Helen Reddy. 1987 - In Berlin, Ronald Reagan challenges Mikhail Gorbachev to "tear down this wall." The Battle of the Berlin Wall ensues over trellis styles and flowering vine colors. 1987 - Reagan forgets what the Battle of the Berlin Wall was about. 1987 - Borg attack sector 001 (before breakfast) reminding Reagan that "resistance is futile". Reagan nukes Borg while shouting "Assimilate this motherflossers!". 1987 - All women's underwear declared illegal in Warsaw Pact nations. NATO, having seen Warsaw Pact women, don't really care. 1987 - World attacked by aliens from Pluto (lunchtime). Pluto declared a non-planet, attack vaporizes as they are not real. 1987 - World stock markets crash. Lehman Brothers is given a ticket for "failure to yield". Markets rebound and begin dating other markets. 1987 - 2,479,802 other major civilization-threatening events occur. No one notices due to Communist underwear crisis. 2010 - Justin Beiber, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson are all found dead after an apparent fight over who got to fuck Kristen Stewart. Kristen's response was "Fuck you, you motherfuckers. Justin Beiber? He ain't even legal. No one's gonna come between me and my man, Robert. Wait, Robert's dead? Oh HELL NO!" 2011 - Garden Gnome sexing becomes an Olympic sport. Justin Beiber is named captain of Canadian and United States teams. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day [[ saturation]] Try in order to use that in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit News Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that Alexander the Great would ride his horse in front of his troops before battle, so they would be so mad at having to march in horseshit they would be ready to fight anything and everything? Do you worry... ... that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings? ... and that's why you have to wait so long to get your takeout order? Read Many
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