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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Cans in Cairns?

January 17: Advance Australia Fair Day

  • Dreamtime - Aboriginal ancestors arrive in Australia, encountering all kinds of poisonous animals, not to mention plants. They try to leave but find their boats have been destroyed by bunyips looking for pirate booty.
  • c.13,500 BCE - Dingoes discover they can eat just about anyone's baby, a fact not determined by white Australians until 1986.
  • 1503 - Suleiman the Magnificent invents the unicycle. However, he would not finish the owner's manual, The Unicyclopedia, before his death.
  • 1732 - Australian naturalists discover the hard way that platypuses have poisonous spurs.
  • 1788 - England devises transportation to Australia as punishment for minor to major crimes. Arriving prisoners could have their choice of poisonous animal for a pet or birthday lunch.
  • 1844 - Redback spiders discover the underside of a toilet seat as a good hiding place. Australians remove outhouse roofs to prevent cranial injuries when bitten.
  • 1857 - Reported vampire bush rangers roaming the outback turn out to be pairs of drop bears, one riding on the other's shoulders and covered by a poncho.
  • 1880 - Ned Kelly becomes the first Iron Man, with mixed results.
  • 1956 - Mel Gibson is born, and born batshit insane due to his mother not drinking enough alcohol during delivery.
  • 1983 - Australians weep openly as a major drought continues, forcing farmers to water their crops with beer.
  • 1993 - Victoria and New South Wales ban Easter when peeps in Easter baskets attack and kill small children. Northern Territories residents consider them to be wimps as they dress up yowies as Easter bunnies to deliver baskets.
  • 2006 - Salt-water crocodiles mourn the death of zoologist Steve Irwin as he always fed them chickens and small children. Chicken reactions are more muted.

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