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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

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Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

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May 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog (Mongolia only)

  • 0 - First Ninja Pirate born. He is easily confused with Jesus and ends up killing said Jesus and takes his place. He is worshipped in Christianity.
  • 616 - Pope Eggs Benedict IV declares that Spain does not exist.
  • 927 - The fucking Vikings do something really nasty, they create Norway.
  • 1805 - Muhammed Ali becomes Waali of Egypt after knocking out rival Charlotte Brontë in the 8th round.
  • 1849 - Millard Fillmore wins the Kentucky Derby with jockey Franklin Pierce in the irons.
  • 1865 - Abraham Lincoln turns down tickets to the Ice Capades in order to see a play.
  • 1975 - The year 1975 is misplaced in history.
  • 1914 - Stand-up British gents die jolly-good deaths in World War I.
  • 1927 - Everybody gets depressed, repressed or undressed.
  • 1930 - First person ever born on this date is born on this date.
  • 1935 - Prozac is invented, entering the market under the auspicious title World War II.
  • 1982 - Pope John Paul II readmits Spain to existence, apologizes for his forepope's bigotry. The Anti-Pope George Ringo is not amused.
  • 1986 - Ronald Reagan weeps publicly, after being called a 'nosey meddler' by Nicaraguans. Sandinistas lead GLOBAL COMMUNIST REVOLUTION resulting with complete annihilation of life. God reported to be 'alcoholic and whore-mongering'.
  • 1993 - First use of the word LOL in recorded history.
  • 2008 - With all the success of his book, James Madison takes a relaxing vacation in Purgatory, where there was much rejoicing!
  • 2012 - The word LOL is finally added to the Oxford Dictionary, despite numerous protests from people such as Stephen Fry.

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