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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Switzerland

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

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Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

David Beckham in traditional pose.

January 18: Wenns Day (aka Humping Day)

853 - General Ackbar ruins his voice by yelling, 'It's a trap!!' too many times during the Dark Ages.
1321 - Every chicken in the world mysteriously circumnavigates the globe in the middle of the night, returning to the same spot where they were the previous evening.
1466 - An unknown musician perishes when his steam-powered accordion explodes while he plays Lady of Spain. The venue burns to the ground causing many casualties, This then is the first example but not the last of the accordion being a weapon of mass destruction.
1610 - God divinely inspires Sidney Trammell; Trammell doesn't notice for another two years.
1778 - James Cook is the first known European to discover the Sandwich Islands, which are later renamed the 'Tunny Fish Sandwich Islands', then 'Tuna Sandwich with Chips Islands', 'Tuna Sandwich with Chips and a Drink (no ice) Islands', and 'Japan's Target Islands' before eventually becoming the 'Hawaiian Islands'. James Cook would go on to become a menu item himself.
1952 - The first issue of Mad Magazine is thrown in the garbage by your mom.
1987 - The inventor of the frozen TV dinner dies and is cryogenically frozen. It is unknown what side dishes are included as nobody has seen the box.
1990 - The Humpty Dance is the #1 song in America. Depressing, eh?
1996 - The Spice Girls declare their hatred for the West. Angry Wurzels fans retaliate.
2000 - David Beckham is transformed from human being into a brand.
2002 - Filmmakers are forced to change the title of their footie movie Bent Like Beckham.
2008 - Cloverfield hits theaters across America. Unfortunately for New York, the movie is based on a true story.