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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Napoleon I-have-a-big-part.

March 17: Sex Day (not Belgium)

  • 45 CE - Julius Caesar decides to invade the United States, but is hampered by the non-existence of the US at the time, and his untimely death 101 years previously.
  • 51 - The ghost of a stubborn Julius Caesar now personally decides to invade America. Frightened Indians bring him offerings of lettuce, oil, eggs and anchovies. Caesar salad is invented.
  • 387 - St. Patrick: "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking isle!" He proceeds to have sex with Heidi Keppert, in the name of Tim Allen.
  • 991 - Anglo-Saxon King Æthelred II, late again, sends the Danes a stale box of candy for Valentine's Day, precipitating the Battle of Maldon when Vikings are unable to exchange it at the Sainsbury's there.
  • 1702 - Irish leprechauns are reported to be having sex on the moors.
  • 1861 - After a quick shag, returning from Belgium, Napoleon proclaims the Kingdom of Italy.
  • 1750 - Casanova discovers that group sex with porcupines isn't so hot. Still, porcupines become rare in Europe due to an outbreak of STDs.
  • 1926 - Al Capone decides to have a cheese and baloney sandwich for breakfast. Unbeknownst to him, this event would eventually culminate in the following year's St. Valentine's Day massacre.
  • 1931 - Nevada legalizes gambling whilst having sex.
  • 2010 - The cancellation of American Idol leads to mass suicides in America, though involving mostly members of William Hung's extended family.
  • 2012 - Gaseous LSD is pumped into the chambers of the Texas state legislature, with apparently no visible effect on the loons within. While some visiting tourists take some great trips, screaming and poo-flinging signals "business as usual" for the lawmakers.
  • 2014 - St. Patrick's Day is renamed by the Scottish Parliament to St. Alex Salmond Day. Salmond, The Scottish First Minister, denies having anything to do with the change.

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Ali sadaka
  • ... the inventor of the Nobel Prize invented the Nobel Prize so he could get a Nobel Prize for his invention of the Nobel Prize?


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  • ... that intellectual theft refers to the stealing of one's ideas, not his IQ points?


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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.