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Today's featured article – Alexander IV

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Look mom!! Look!! Look!!

August 21: International "Look Over There!" Day

4002 BCE - Adam and Eve become aware of their nakedness; Eve asks Adam why he is staring at her breasts. Adam shouts "Look over there!" and runs away, thus inventing The Oldest Trick in the Book.
3998 BCE - Adam tells Eve her shoelaces are untied and flicks her in the nose, thus inventing The Second-Oldest Trick in the Book.
27 CE - Jesus says he sees a giant killer land shark, and uses the distraction to grab many loaves and fishes from his wagon.
1458 - A small child in London shouts "Look, a duck!" whilst pointing in the air to buy himself enough time to rob the city while the population is staring pointlessly at the sky.
1831 - While picking cotton, Nat Turner shouts "Look at all those aboltionists!" and runs away, successfully escaping slavery.
1832 - Nat Turner is hanged.
1911 - A Louvre employee remarks "My stars, what is that?," then steals the Mona Lisa.
1940 - Leon Trotsky is killed with a pickaxe in Mexico. His last name reminds me of a horse.
1959 - President Dwight D. Eisenhower exclaims "That woman is topless!", signs Hawaii into statehood while everyone is distracted.
1967 - Carrie-Anne Moss distracts her mother long enough to escape from uterus.
1976 - Korean War: Operation Paul Bunyan takes place. An American invasion force is distracted when North Koreans yell "Look at that giant tree," causing angry Marines to forget their mission and focus on chopping it down.
1995 - Monica Lewinsky screams "Oh no, a vast right-wing conspiracy," fellates Bill Clinton while he's looking around exclaiming "Where? Where?"
2003 - Edna Turnington of Gloucestershire purchases seven pounds of ground beef.
2010 - HOLY CRAP THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU!
2011 - The US government tells its citizens, "Look over there at all those bad people in the Middle East!" While the population looks on to see what happens, their income tax is raised to 99%.