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USA Front Page Story
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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did y'all know...
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*... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?
- ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?
- ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
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Dispatches from the Voice of America
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On this day in America...
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Une-jay 15: Ig-pay Atin-lay Ay-day
- 1066 - Agnet-may Ars-cay are-ay atented-pay.
- 1067 - E-tay Ishop-bay of-ay East-ay Anglia-ay invents-ay ocolate-chay.
- 1219 - Denmark's flag, oldest in history, falls out of the sky. A battle between the Danish and some country of lesser importance then turns in the favor of the Danes, likely because the flag landed point-down on the King of the other country, say intelligent Harvard graduates. Pig Latin professionals will later laugh at the inability to translate this long sentence into Pig Latin.
- 1777 - Illard-may Illmore-fay eates-cray e-thay Ig-pay Atin-lay Olitical-pay Arty-pay, a-ay one-issue-ay arty-pay evoted-day o-tay aking-may Ig-pay Atin-lay e-thay ational-nay anguage-lay.
- 1836 - Arkansas becomes a state. Pig latin lobbyists disappointed by impossibility of the name.
- 1877 - Illard-may Illmore-fay as-hay a-ay entennial-cay elebration-cay. Oth-bay embers-may ow-shay up-ay.
- 1878 - Illard-may Illmore-fay ives-gay up-ay altogether-ay, and-ay erases-ay everyone's-ay ind-may of is-hay arty-pay.
- 1905 - Apmobile-cray ounded-fay y-bay Omas-thay Apper-cray in-ay Etroit-day, MI.
- 1975 - Angelina-ay Olie-jay is-ay orn-bay in-ay Uuk-nay, Eenland-gray. Er-hay Eskimo-ay eritage-hay accounts-ay or-fay er-hay ood-gay ooks-lay.
- 1992 - Usic-may as-ay e-way ow-knay it-ay, ecides-day o-tay implode-ay. Is-thay is-ay ood-gay ecause-bay eople-pay art-stay istening-lay o-tay etro-ray.
- 2005 - Pope announces all new announcements will be announced by announcement in Pig Latin.
- 2006 - Ew-nay Opep-ay lectede-ay.
- 2026 - Ey-hay, at's-thay oday-tay!
- 2026 - Uh-thy ope-pey eclairs-day at-they oose-mey as-brey are-ay illegal-ay.(-day)
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George Eastman's featured picture
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Great American heroes
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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