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Today's featured article – Alexander IV
Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
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Did y'all know...
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*... that Pennsyltucky is not really the 57th state but is a good source of fiber?
- ... that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
- ... and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
- ... that Pennsyltucky is not really the 57th state but is a good source of fiber?
- ... that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
- ... and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
- ... that Pennsyltucky is not really the 57th state but is a good source of fiber?
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Dispatches from the Voice of America
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On this day in America...
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August 6: National Wear Glow-in-the-Dark Viking Costumes Day (pictured)
- 578 - The Vikings discover glow-in-the-dark materials long before Columbus.
- 862 - Viking raiders give up glow-in-the-dark clothing after being attacked by overly friendly sea monsters.
- 1054 - Hog breeders give up trying to breed piggy banks when they find that buyers dislike the method of getting the coins out.
- 1945 - The U.S. gives the city of Hiroshima, Japan custom glow-in-the-dark costumes.
- 1855 - The concept of The Great American Novel is first introduced, when thousands of people traverse the country in covered wagons, contract dysentery, and feel "really good" about America.
- 1890 - After Thomas Edison electrocutes an elephant during his demonstration of the "dangers" of AC current, New York adopts the electric chair for execution. Murderer Andy Dick would be the first to die by this method, though it is unknown if he dies by electrocution or from the weight of the elephant sitting in his lap.
- 1940 - Estonia decides to become part of Russia after most of the latter's army walks in for a short visit.
- 1945 - United States gets the first ever 25-kill streak on the map of Hiroshima; immediately uses kill streak reward of tactical nuke for the round win.
- 1998 - A Gay Pride parade in Hoboken, New Jersey is interrupted by an impromptu interior decorating parade proceeding down an intersecting street in what comes to be known by all who participated as "fabulous".
- 2006 - A 1.5 magnitude earthquake occurs on the Moon. Global warming is promptly blamed for the incident.
- 2008 - In a major tragedy, aftershocks from a large earthquake in China knock over an American man's glass of water in Cleveland, Ohio.
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George Eastman's featured picture
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[vote]
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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Great American heroes
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Uncyclopedia's sista projectsUncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
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