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Today's featured article – Alexander IV
Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
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Did y'all know...
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*... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
- ... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
- ... that the Philadelphia Eagles have won 10 consecutive Super Bowls, but only in their minds?
- ... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
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Dispatches from the Voice of America
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On this day in America...
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July 15: International Video Game Day
- 1899 - Dr. Edwin Joy invents the first joystick usable for games. It fails to catch on with whist players.
- 1981 - The MKULTRA project is used to convince millions that the arcade game Polybius actually exists. This is done in order to get back badly needed quarters being hoarded by children.
- 1982 - Atari, Inc. releases E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600 game console, which is met with rave reviews and general praise from gamers and critics alike.
- 1983 - The Donkey Kong arcade game is banned in Saudi Arabia due to Sharia law prohibiting mingling barrels and apes.
- 1986 - Dragon Warrior (pictured) is released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, paving the way for role-playing video games.
- 1988 - The first adult-oriented video game is released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, but the small processors and inadequate graphics rendered the game much more confusing than it was erotic.
- 1997 - Goldeneye 007, starring James Bond, is released for the Nintendo 64, in what many still consider to be the greatest first-person shooter of all time.
- 2002 - Playing off of the massive success of The Lord of the Rings franchise, a video game based on The Two Towers is released, but it is not received well by fans due to the absence of Lord Sauron as a playable character.
- 2006 - In honor of International Video Game Day, a flash game becomes available on the Homestar Runner website featuring Trogdor the Burninator.
- 2007 - AYBABTU is almost forgotten, for great justice.
- 2009 - You finally realize you have worn a deep groove in your couch while playing video games. You will eventually find yourself sitting in a 2 foot deep hole in the floor.
- 2011 - Unicorn Appreciation Day. Congratulate the unicorns on another year passed.
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George Eastman's featured picture
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Great American heroes
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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