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USA Front Page Story
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Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did y'all know...
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*... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
- ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties?
- ... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
- ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties?
- ... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
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Dispatches from the Voice of America
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On this day in America...
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February 20: Twenty/Twenny/7uun3d Dispute Day
- c.1 million BCE - Cavemen learn to count beyond ten, but due to extensive toe injuries only make it to 18.
- c.900,000 BCE - Due to heavy radiation from solar flares, mutant cavemen are able to count well beyond 20.
- 3001 BCE - Egyptian artisans decorating monuments are found to just be a bunch of chiselers.
- 20 BCE - 20 Roman scholars in 20 different cities declare 20 to be the perfect number. Coincidence?
- 793 - A humorous scribe at Lindisfarne Abbey invents leet. Viking raiders cross the seas to kill him specifically.
- 11-twenty - Twenty is the commonly accepted spelling of the word pronounced 20.
- 12-twenny - Twenny is da commonly Xepted spellin of 20.
- 1337 - The use of leet is prohibited on pain of d
- 13-7uun3d - U h4u3 733n 7uun3d!
- 14-20 - People decide to spell
twenty twenny 7uun3d 20 as '20'.
- 15-twenty - 16-twenny - 17-7wn3d: Disputes abowt 20 have been pwn3d by God.
- 2003 - In honour of twenty, the Twenty20 cricket form has been introduced.
- 2020 - Hindsight is scientifically proven to be twenny 7uun3d.
- 7uun3d-f1r57 (3n7ury - 1337 15 7h3 n4710n41 14n9u493 0f 34r7h, 50 '7uun3d' 15 7h3 (0rr3(7 593111n9 0f '20'.
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George Eastman's featured picture
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Great American heroes
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Uncyclopedia's sista projectsUncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
America's staunchest allies
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Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,405 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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Protected by the Declaration of Independence and an elite clan of Minutemen. God bless America!
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
