From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
USA Front Page Story
|
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
|
Did y'all know...
|
*... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that space is just a money-making scheme by NASA?
|
|
Dispatches from the Voice of America
|
|
On this day in America...
|
|
December 24: Crimbo Eve (Iraq), International Peas Day
- 1 - Some important guy is almost born. Sort of.
- 1214 - Ye Olde Barter Shoppe in York offers the first Christmas sale ever. However, it is marred by protests for using the word "sale".
- 1777 - Captain James Cook discovers a new island, which by an incredible coincidence happens to be named Christmas Island (what are the odds?).
- 1865 - Some Civil War veterans take the idea of a "White Christmas" a bit too far.
- 1895 - A man invents a new kind of poison. Somehow, neither him nor the poison were heard from again.
- 1914 - During the Christmas Truce, British and German soldiers take a break from killing each other, in order to celebrate Peace on Earth.
- 1929 - Hitler freaks out because he forgot to buy a Jewish friend a present, and then attempts to "cover up" for it.
- 1934 - The boomerang is declared the gayest invention ever. The joke being that it isn't straight. Hur-hur.
- 1968 - NASA fakes the first manned mission to orbit the Moon – Apollo 8. Gawd, just look at all the strings holding up everything!
- 1974 - God sends Cyclone Tracy to destroy most of Darwin, Australia for having the nerve to be named after that evolution guy.
- 1975 - Canadians attempt to invade the United States but run into a street hockey game, then proceed to change their minds.
- 1977 - The Goodies blow up the world. Accidents happen, after all.
- 1984 - Santa Claus fulfills prophecy as he dies for the sins of mankind, to give man eternal neckties and sweaters.
- 1995 - Tim Allen declares that he wishes he was really Santa Claus.
- 1997 - There is nearly an outbreak of Zombies. However the whole thing is prevented on account of people having seen way too many zombie movies, and who just close their doors. Will Smith forgets his house keys.
- 2009 - A pickle receives more fans on Facebook than Nickelback.
- 2012 - According to Aztec/Inca/anything-to-do-with-South-American mythology, we were due to instantly die a few days ago. We're still here. However, the President is attacked by a baboon with a desk calendar.
|
|
George Eastman's featured picture
|
[vote]
| 100AcreSuspects.jpg - 17 Jars of Honey ( 19 / 2 )
|
|
"The greatest trick Christopher Robin ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
Image credit: Mhaille
|
|
|
|
|
Great American heroes
|
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projectsUncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
America's staunchest allies
|
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,370 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
|
Protected by the Declaration of Independence and an elite clan of Minutemen. God bless America!
