Babel:US

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to Uncyclopedia Americana,

37,405 articles in American

Constitution · Declaration of Independence · Liberty Bell · Bill of Rights · NATO · Support the US war effort

50 States · American Idols · Red, White & Blue

USA Front Page Story

Today's featured article – Windows XP

Origiweweweweenal.png

Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

Did y'all know...

*... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties?
  • ... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties?
  • ... that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?

Dispatches from the Voice of America


On this day in America...

Matchbox 20.

February 20: Twenty/Twenny/7uun3d Dispute Day

  • c.1 million BCE - Cavemen learn to count beyond ten, but due to extensive toe injuries only make it to 18.
  • c.900,000 BCE - Due to heavy radiation from solar flares, mutant cavemen are able to count well beyond 20.
  • 3001 BCE - Egyptian artisans decorating monuments are found to just be a bunch of chiselers.
  • 20 BCE - 20 Roman scholars in 20 different cities declare 20 to be the perfect number. Coincidence?
  • 793 - A humorous scribe at Lindisfarne Abbey invents leet. Viking raiders cross the seas to kill him specifically.
  • 11-twenty - Twenty is the commonly accepted spelling of the word pronounced 20.
  • 12-twenny - Twenny is da commonly Xepted spellin of 20.
  • 1337 - The use of leet is prohibited on pain of d
  • 13-7uun3d - U h4u3 733n 7uun3d!
  • 14-20 - People decide to spell twenty twenny 7uun3d 20 as '20'.
  • 15-twenty - 16-twenny - 17-7wn3d: Disputes abowt 20 have been pwn3d by God.
  • 2003 - In honour of twenty, the Twenty20 cricket form has been introduced.
  • 2020 - Hindsight is scientifically proven to be twenny 7uun3d.
  • 7uun3d-f1r57 (3n7ury - 1337 15 7h3 n4710n41 14n9u493 0f 34r7h, 50 '7uun3d' 15 7h3 (0rr3(7 593111n9 0f '20'.

George Eastman's featured picture


[vote]

BSoD box art.png

BSoD box art.png - 6 total votes ( 6 / 0 )
BSoD box art.png

Insert image caption here

Image credit: Uyabba

Fair and balanced

Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue (pictured)| Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism


More recent articles | Most wanted outlaws | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Great American heroes

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

America's staunchest allies

UnNews Logo Potato (No text).png UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
UnBestiary UnBestiary
Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,405 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

Protected by the Declaration of Independence and an elite clan of Minutemen. God bless America!

  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.