USA Front Page Story
|
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
|
Did y'all know...
|
*... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
- ... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
|
|
Dispatches from the Voice of America
|
|
On this day in America...
|
|
January 29: Echo Day Day
- 1200 BCE, CE, E - Moses hears his own echo on top of Sinai and believes it to be the voice of God.
- 1898, 8, 8 - The announcement "Train two two two leaving on track ack ack four four four," leads to a massive stampede in Chicago Grand Terminal Station as thousand mistakenly crowd a platform in confusion, trying to take the same train, causing a floor collapse. To keep the problem from repeating, the railroads hire an announcer that mumbles under his breath. This would become a tradition of US railroads forever.
- 1939, 39, 39 - Yet today, day, day...I consider myself, self, self...the luckiest man, man, man...on the face of the earth, earth, earth.
- 1956, 56, 56 - Syd Barrett writes Echoes.
- 2007, 07, 07 - System of a Down and U2 are finally respected for their obnoxious repeating lyrics.
- 2009, 09, 09 - The Man scale is officially discovered again and again and again.
- 2012 - All of the band members of Echosmith are replaced by ducks in the studio to avoid echoes.
- 2013, 13, 13 - Ducks are officially banned from the Earth on Echo Day Day for their lack of an echoing quack.
- 4567, 67, 67 - Goats goats, after their invasion of Earth Earth, kill everyone who celebrates Echo Day Day.
- 4570, 70, 70 - Small all all cult ult of of goats oats celebrate rate Echo Echo Day ay in secret ret.
|
|
Great American heroes
|
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
|
|
